AUGUST 12, 1998

Full News Archive

• Headline: Clinton's Calm Before Grand Jury Testimony. Impact: If Clinton had panicked before his testimony, the entire political landscape could have shifted—imagine a world where politicians started taking their own scandals seriously! What a nightmare for political comedy writers.. Fact: Calmness under pressure is a rare trait in politicians. It's almost like they have something to hide... or a great PR team..
• Headline: Fossett's Historic Atlantic Balloon Crossing. Impact: Fossett’s balloon flight sparked a global ballooning renaissance, leading to the first-ever 'Balloon Olympics' where participants try to throw confetti from 30,000 feet. Spoiler alert: it gets messy.. Fact: Ballooning is the only sport where you can literally float away from your problems. And sometimes, from your responsibilities too..
• Headline: Clinton Adviser Insights on Lewinsky Crisis. Impact: Thomason's testimony could have been the turning point for reality TV politics. Had he spilled the beans, we might have seen a wave of political dramas that would make 'House of Cards' look like a family-friendly sitcom.. Fact: Testifying in front of a grand jury is just like reality TV, except there's no editing room to cut out the awkward moments..
• Headline: Judge Rules Gates Must Give Deposition in Public. Impact: This ruling opened the floodgates for a new era of transparency in corporate America. Alas, it also led to endless press conferences where executives awkwardly fumble through questions about their favorite snacks.. Fact: The only thing more boring than a deposition is listening to a lawyer explain the legal jargon for two hours. Zzz..
• Headline: Bell Atlantic Workers End Strike; Pact Gives Union Job Assurances. Impact: The end of the Bell Atlantic strike could have saved countless phone calls from turning into ‘Can you hear me now?’ disasters. Imagine the chaos if everyone had to resort to carrier pigeons!. Fact: Union workers and their negotiations are like a soap opera—lots of drama, unexpected plot twists, and occasional cliffhangers..
• Headline: Oxford Health Posts Big Loss For 2d Quarter. Impact: Oxford Health's colossal loss might have been the catalyst for the rise of cheaper, more creative health plans, leading to the development of 'DIY health insurance,' where patients just guess what they need.. Fact: Health insurance losses are just like your bank account after a weekend shopping spree: you never quite know how it happened, but you definitely feel the pain..