JULY 14, 1998

Full News Archive

• Headline: Deceit and Violence: The Kimes Story. Impact: Sante Kimes' story of deceit became a cautionary tale that inspired countless crime dramas, contributing to the 2005 boom in true crime podcasts—because who doesn't love a little light-hearted murder while jogging?. Fact: Fun fact: Edith Silverman was not the only eccentric around; every family has that one relative who insists on bringing a pet tarantula to Thanksgiving dinner..
• Headline: Cellularvision Sells Bandwidth to Winstar. Impact: This deal paved the way for the streaming wars, turning our collective consciousness into a never-ending competition for bandwidth that could rival a medieval joust—only with more Wi-Fi routers.. Fact: Did you know that at some point, we went from 'Can you hear me now?' to 'Can you see my cat meme?' in just a few years? Progress!.
• Headline: Gilkey's Vision Remains an Issue in His Extended Slump. Impact: Gilkey's refusal to wear glasses inadvertently led to the creation of 'vision coaching' for athletes, setting the stage for a future where all sports require players to attend therapy for their eye issues.. Fact: Did you know that sometimes, the best view is in your mind? Too bad Gilkey's wasn't working at the time!.
• Headline: George Dunne, 92, Priest and Ecumenist, Dies. Impact: Rev Dunne's lifetime of advocating for peace and unity inspired generations of ecumenical movements, ultimately leading to an unexpected increase in interfaith potlucks—because nothing says harmony like sharing a casserole with your neighbor.. Fact: His ecumenical efforts were so impactful that even the squirrels in the park started gathering nuts together, showing solidarity in the animal kingdom..
• Headline: The Face-Off at G.M.. Impact: The GM strike spiraled into a series of labor movements that inspired workers to demand better conditions, resulting in a future where employees expect to have coffee breaks longer than their lunch—because who needs productivity?. Fact: In the end, it turned out that the real face-off was between workers and their desire for a decent coffee machine in the break room..
• Headline: Birkdale's Blustery Welcome Serves as an Early Warning. Impact: The unpredictable weather at the British Open became a metaphor for life itself, leading to an increase in motivational quotes about 'embracing the storm'—because who doesn't love a good cliché?. Fact: They say golfers are just trying to control the uncontrollable—kind of like parents at a toddler's birthday party..
• Headline: Senate Halts Property Bill Backed by G.O.P.. Impact: The Senate's rejection of the property rights bill led to a wave of grassroots movements that tried to reclaim public parks as 'personal property'—because who doesn’t want to put a fence around a patch of grass?. Fact: The only thing more difficult than passing a property bill is getting a unanimous decision on what toppings to put on a pizza..