JUNE 10, 1998

Full News Archive

• Headline: Baltimore Celebrates Its Unique Hons Culture. Impact: The rise of 'Hons' in Baltimore sparked a nationwide trend in dialect competitions, leading to a reality TV show that ultimately caused the downfall of serious cultural programming. Thanks, Sharon Gill.. Fact: Did you know that 'Hon' is Baltimore's way of saying 'I care about you, but only in a mildly affectionate, slightly sarcastic way'?.
• Headline: House Votes on Bankruptcy System Overhaul. Impact: As the bankruptcy overhaul bill passed, it paved the way for a future where people would start Googling 'How to declare bankruptcy without embarrassing my mother.'. Fact: Fun fact: The term 'bankruptcy' comes from the Italian 'banca rotta,' meaning 'broken bench.' Just like your dreams, am I right?.
• Headline: Tribes Rally Against Casino Regulations. Impact: The tribal leaders' march on the Capitol inadvertently inspired a new wave of activism, eventually leading to the rise of hipster coffee shops named after various Native American tribes. Thanks for the latte, I guess.. Fact: The term 'casino' comes from the Italian word for 'little house.' So, if you lose all your money, at least you can say you were at a little house party..
• Headline: Josephine Hutchinson, 94, Movie Actress. Impact: Josephine Hutchinson's passing marked the end of an era for golden age actresses, leading to a slew of biopics that nobody asked for but everyone pretended to enjoy.. Fact: She lived to 94, proving that the real secret to longevity is surviving the 1930s and 40s Hollywood drama..
• Headline: BASEBALL: While Nomo Struggles, Hernandez Takes Control; Newest Starting Pitcher Surprises Even the Yanks With His Mastery. Impact: Hernandez's unexpected mastery triggered a series of overconfident predictions by sports analysts, ultimately causing the downfall of several betting empires. Oops!. Fact: Did you know that in baseball, the term 'mastery' can also refer to how well a pitcher can avoid giving interviews after a bad game?.
• Headline: It's a Mall . . . It's an Airport; . . . It's Both: The Latest Trend in Terminals. Impact: The airport-mall trend led to the first-ever airport fashion show, where travelers strutted their stuff in luggage and sweatpants. Who knew comfort could be so chic?. Fact: Next time you're at the airport, remember: Those shops are just as important as your flight. You must prioritize that overpriced pretzel!.
• Headline: Signing Bonus Now a Fixture Farther Down the Job Ladder. Impact: The proliferation of signing bonuses at lower job levels created a bizarre job market where people began competing over who could get the most absurd bonuses—like a lifetime supply of guacamole.. Fact: In a shocking twist, some companies began offering signing bonuses in the form of pizza. Because nothing says 'I value you' like a pepperoni pie..
• Headline: First Bosnia, Now Kosovo. Impact: The international struggle to stabilize Kosovo inadvertently inspired countless 'diplomatic disaster' memes, proving that sometimes humor can be found even amidst conflict.. Fact: Fun fact: The conflict in Kosovo was so complicated, even historians need a flowchart to explain it. And that's saying something!.
• Headline: NBC Buying A Portal To the Internet. Impact: NBC's investment in Snap led to a technological race that resulted in everyone thinking they could be influencers. Spoiler alert: Most can't.. Fact: Did you know that buying a portal to the Internet is basically like buying a ticket to a never-ending circus? Just a lot of clowns and not much substance..
• Headline: Yeltsin Plans Personal Bid To Defuse Kosovo Crisis. Impact: Yeltsin's personal diplomatic efforts to defuse the Kosovo crisis inadvertently set the stage for future global leaders to think they could solve everything with a coffee chat and a PowerPoint presentation.. Fact: Yeltsin's attempts at diplomacy were legendary; he once brought a bottle of vodka to a peace talk. Because nothing says 'let’s talk about peace' like a little liquid courage..