MAY 22, 1998

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tobacco Lobby's Winning Ad Campaign. Impact: If only the tobacco lobby had lost this battle, we might have been spared the spectacle of politicians puffing away in their offices while trying to balance health and profits. Fast forward a few decades, and 'smoking lounges' might have made it to the list of historical curiosities alongside the dodo bird.. Fact: Did you know that in some alternate timelines, anti-smoking campaigns are as popular as cat videos? Yeah, me neither..
• Headline: Banking Woes: Sumitomo and Daiwa Losses. Impact: These loan losses could have sparked a financial revolution in Japan, leading to an early cryptocurrency boom. Instead, it just resulted in a lot of sad bankers and a very unenthusiastic karaoke scene.. Fact: Fun fact: Losing money can actually be a great way to motivate banks to innovate… or just cry in their sake..
• Headline: Cabdrivers' Protest Meets Police Response. Impact: If only cabdrivers had succeeded, we might have seen a new era of taxi drivers as political activists, eventually leading to a reality show called 'Cabbies vs. City Hall'. Spoiler alert: it got canceled after one season.. Fact: Did you know that blocking cabs without passengers is just a fancy way of saying 'we're trying to keep the peace'? Because nothing says peace like barricading a bunch of cabs!.
• Headline: Political Briefing; Democrats in Nevada Bolstered by a Filing. Impact: This little filing could be the butterfly that flaps its wings and leads to a major shift in Nevada's political landscape, ultimately spawning a new genre of political drama series: 'The Real Housewives of Nevada Politics'.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more unpredictable than a political campaign is a house of cards built by amateur card players..
• Headline: Whitman Seeks Rise in Gas Tax for Transit and Conservation. Impact: Whitman's gas tax proposal might have made New Jersey famous for something other than its pizza and mobsters. Instead, it just added to the 'Why do we live here?' conversations at family dinners.. Fact: Did you know that every time a gas tax is proposed, a little part of the universe dies? Just kidding. It just makes people angrier at the pump..
• Headline: A Love Triangle Where Rage Is a Problem. Impact: The love triangle may have inspired a new genre of romantic comedies where insurance salesmen take up extreme sports to win back their fiancées. Who knew risk assessments could lead to romance?. Fact: Did you know that boxing is a great way to work off relationship stress? Just ask the insurance salesman… if he can still talk after the match..
• Headline: House G.O.P. Opens Floodgates on Campaign Finance. Impact: Opening the floodgates on campaign finance could have led to a new era of political shenanigans, like politicians auctioning off lunch dates to the highest bidder. Thank goodness for democracy, right?. Fact: Did you know that with 580 amendments, you could effectively create a novel? Or just a really confusing paper trail..
• Headline: PLAN BY WHITMAN ON URBAN SCHOOLS BACKED BY COURT. Impact: Ending the oversight of urban schools could have unleashed a wave of educational reform, but instead, it likely just led to more debates about school lunches. Because that’s what really matters, right?. Fact: Did you know that getting rid of a court's oversight is like giving a toddler a cookie? It sounds fun until you realize there's a mess to clean up..