MAY 5, 1998

Full News Archive

• Headline: Revival of The Communist Manifesto in NYC. Impact: The sudden popularity of a 'zippy' edition of The Communist Manifesto sparked a trend where hipsters began using Marxist philosophy to justify their avocado toast habits, forever changing brunch conversations.. Fact: The last time The Communist Manifesto was this popular, people were throwing rocks at the bourgeoisie. Now, it's just a casual read next to the oat milk..
• Headline: Clinton's Historic Bipartisan Judgeship Deal. Impact: Clinton's G.O.P. deal on judgeships led to an era of bipartisan consensus that was so shocking, it caused many political analysts to faint and needed an entire team of paramedics to revive them.. Fact: Remember when bipartisan agreements meant something? Yeah, me neither. Now it's just a handshake and a wink while the world burns..
• Headline: Excite, a Web Directory Service, In a 2-Year Deal With Netscape. Impact: Excite's deal with Netscape changed the way we think about search engines, leading to a world where people now expect their search results to come with a side of fries.. Fact: Excite was once the go-to search engine. Now, ironically, it excites no one. Just like my high school reunion..
• Headline: Sale of Homer Seascape Sets Record. Impact: William H. Gates' record-breaking purchase of Winslow Homer's painting caused a sudden influx of tech billionaires into the art world, leading to a rise in 'tech-art' where code is considered a masterpiece.. Fact: $30 million for a painting? For that price, I expect it to come with a complimentary yacht and a personal butler named Jeeves..
• Headline: Hearing Today for Back-Seat Crew of Jet in Cable-Car Crash. Impact: The military hearing for the back-seat crew of the jet in the cable-car crash sparked a debate on accountability that reverberated through military protocols, leading to a 'no blame' policy that has baffled historians ever since.. Fact: Tragedies like these remind us of the heavy weight of responsibility. And yes, military hearings are as fun as they sound—just without the popcorn..