FEBRUARY 18, 1998

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Shift from Wine to Beer. Impact: The shift from wine to microbrews led to an explosion of craft breweries, which eventually resulted in a hipster takeover of every possible beverage market. Now, people are brewing everything from kombucha to pickle-flavored sodas. Cheers to progress!. Fact: In the 80s, wine was considered the drink of the sophisticated. Now, it’s just a fancy way to get a headache..
• Headline: Mizlansky/Zilinsky: A Theatrical Insight. Impact: This comedy play's success encouraged a whole generation of writers to think that being 'lovable' is enough to get by in life, leading to an influx of sitcoms featuring quirky anti-heroes who never quite learned the meaning of responsibility. Thanks, Ben Brantley!. Fact: The play's title is a nod to the fact that no matter how morally questionable a character may be, they can still win your heart... or at least your Netflix subscription..
• Headline: In Las Vegas, Top Restaurants Are the Hot New Game. Impact: As Las Vegas restaurants became the new trend, the city’s culinary scene exploded, leading to a competition that eventually birthed celebrity chefs and cooking shows, thereby ruining the sanctity of your average home-cooked meal forever. Bon appétit!. Fact: Las Vegas was once known for its buffets, but now it's a place where a meal can cost more than a small car. Progress, right?.
• Headline: Rangers' Campbell Will Be Dismissed. Impact: The dismissal of Coach Colin Campbell led to a series of coaching changes that ultimately transformed the New York Rangers into a circus of management decisions, resulting in a long history of 'what were they thinking?' moments. Thank you, anonymous officials!. Fact: Coaching in the NHL is like dating: one bad breakup, and you're on to the next one, hoping things will turn out differently..
• Headline: Restaurant Wasn't Toast of Town; Ed Sullivan's Seemed to Have Everything but Success. Impact: The closure of Ed Sullivan's restaurant served as a cautionary tale for many aspiring restaurateurs, leading to a boom in food blogs that would either celebrate or tear apart the latest dining establishments. Everyone's a critic now!. Fact: Just because you have a great menu doesn't mean you can escape the fate of becoming a trendy Instagram backdrop..
• Headline: Just Because the Grades Are Up, Are Princeton Students Smarter?. Impact: The rise in grades at Princeton led to a nationwide decline in academic rigor, as students across the country took 'study like it's 1999' to heart, ultimately resulting in a generation that believes they can pass exams with memes instead of studying. Thanks, Princeton!. Fact: If grades were actually indicative of intelligence, half the world would be geniuses by now. But we know that's not how it works!.
• Headline: A Judge in Texas Rules in Favor of Microsoft. Impact: Microsoft's legal victory in Texas set a precedent for tech giants to flex their muscles against state investigations, leading to a future where corporations wield more power than governments, making Big Brother look like a friendly neighbor. Good luck, Texas!. Fact: This ruling didn't just benefit Microsoft; it also inspired countless law students to consider a career in tech law—because who wouldn't want to defend a trillion-dollar company?.