DECEMBER 17, 1997

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rice: America's Unexpected Beer Ingredient. Impact: The revelation that rice is involved in beer production sparked a revolution in drinking culture, where suddenly, everyone became a 'craft beer connoisseur' while secretly just enjoying cheap brews.. Fact: Did you know that if you drink enough rice beer, you might actually start thinking you’re a culinary expert? Just remember, the only thing you’re pairing with that is regret!.
• Headline: Mexican Oil Union Chief Paroled After 9 Years. Impact: The paroling of Joaquin Hernandez Galicia led to a domino effect of labor rights discussions in Mexico, eventually resulting in workers realizing they could demand better conditions—who would've thought human rights could be so revolutionary?. Fact: Did you know that after nine years in prison, Joaquin probably had to relearn how to order a taco without sounding like a time traveler?.
• Headline: Japan Premier Seeks Billions In Tax Cuts. Impact: The proposed tax cuts in Japan created a brief illusion of economic revival, leading to a series of misguided investment choices that resulted in a bubble bursting—thanks for the ride, Japan!. Fact: Did you know that in the world of economics, 'revival' is just code for trying to get people to spend money they don't have? A classic game of financial musical chairs!.
• Headline: In Praise of America's Own World-Class Ham. Impact: The praise for American hams led to an obsession with artisanal meats, resulting in a generation that spends its entire paycheck on gourmet bacon while still asking if they can have extra ketchup on their fast food.. Fact: Did you know that if you say 'ham' three times in a hipster cafe, it might magically appear on your table with a side of avocado toast?.
• Headline: $25 and Under; Inventive Mediterranean Fare That's Worth a Trip. Impact: The review of Le Tableau encouraged a wave of Mediterranean restaurant openings, leading to the rise of 'Mediterranean fusion' dishes that no one really asked for but Instagram loves.. Fact: Did you know that Mediterranean cuisine has become so trendy that even your microwave is now trying to pass off frozen falafel as gourmet?.
• Headline: An Old Master Who Transmutes the Trivial. Impact: The review of 'Visiting Mr. Green' led to a resurgence in the popularity of theater, resulting in more people pretending to understand art while still secretly googling the plot during intermission.. Fact: Did you know that the real tragedy of theater is not the actors’ performances but the fact that half the audience is just there for the overpriced snacks?.