NOVEMBER 28, 1997

Full News Archive

• Headline: Icons of the 60s and 70s Revisited. Impact: If only Bob Dylan had used a different harmonica, the entire music industry might have collapsed under the weight of too much talent. Instead, he inspired countless artists, leading to the rise of karaoke bars, where off-key renditions of 'Blowin' in the Wind' now haunt us all.. Fact: Did you know that Bob Dylan once went electric? It caused a mini-revolution in folk music, but it was nothing compared to the chaos caused by his fans trying to figure out what 'like a rolling stone' really means..
• Headline: Kraft Foods Complex Sold to Developer. Impact: The sale of the Kraft Foods complex marks the moment when snack food and gentrification collided, leading to the rise of artisanal macaroni and cheese food trucks and the existential crisis of every hipster in Brooklyn.. Fact: Did you know Kraft Singles are technically not cheese? Yet, they somehow managed to throw a party and invited every childhood memory to the bash..
• Headline: Commercial Real Estate; A Housing Plan Where Stores Have Been Included. Impact: This housing plan was the first of many that attempted to marry retail with residential spaces, ultimately leading to the modern phenomenon of overpriced apartments with a 'convenient' Starbucks on the ground floor. Thanks, urban planners!. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'retail therapy' was coined by someone who clearly never experienced the stress of looking for affordable housing?.
• Headline: For Children, Another Night On Office Cots. Impact: The plight of these foster children sparked a national conversation about welfare policies, leading to a series of awkward public discussions where politicians tried to sound empathetic but mostly just ended up sounding like they were reading off a cue card.. Fact: Did you know that foster care in NYC can sometimes feel like a game of musical chairs, except all the chairs are actually foldable cots and no one wins?.
• Headline: Metro Business; Building Adds 2 Retailers. Impact: The signing of Barnes & Noble and Circuit City was a pivotal moment that fueled the endless debate on whether brick-and-mortar stores could survive the digital age, ultimately leading to the downfall of countless hapless retail employees who had to pretend they cared about your book choices.. Fact: Did you know Circuit City went bankrupt in 2008? It's almost like they were trying to compete with the internet—spoiler alert: they lost..
• Headline: BASKETBALL: The Two Sides of Allan Houston; Knick Guard Combines Suburban Style With City Smarts. Impact: Allan Houston's profile brought attention to the blend of suburban charm and urban grit, ultimately inspiring a generation of basketball players to think they can also do real estate on the side, resulting in more questionable celebrity investments.. Fact: Did you know Allan Houston was known for his smooth jump shot? It’s too bad his real estate ventures didn’t have quite the same trajectory..
• Headline: St. John's Artest Creates Some Excitement in His First Start. Impact: Ron Artest's explosive debut marked the beginning of the trend of college athletes being thrust into the spotlight, leading to the unfortunate rise of reality TV shows about professional athletes who think they're also actors.. Fact: Did you know Ron Artest changed his name to Metta World Peace? Because if only we could all solve our problems with a name change and a little optimism..
• Headline: For Capital Pundits, Money for Speeches Is Scarce This Year. Impact: The decline in speaking fees for pundits indicated that society was finally prioritizing actual qualifications over charisma, leading to a bizarre world where you can earn more playing video games than sharing your opinion.. Fact: Did you know that Mark Shields once made a living from his opinions? Now, those opinions are probably worth less than your average TikTok dance tutorial..