OCTOBER 9, 1997

Full News Archive

• Headline: Clinton Defends Fund-Raising Practices. Impact: Clinton's defense of his fundraising practices opened the door for political fundraisers everywhere to start using the phrase 'it's just a little bit of money' as a universal excuse – and we all know how that turned out.. Fact: Fun fact: Politicians have been known to raise funds in ways that could make a magician jealous – now you see it, now you don't!.
• Headline: Indonesia Seeks Financial Support from I.M.F.. Impact: Indonesia's call for financial aid kicked off a series of economic crises across Southeast Asia, leading to a future where coffee became a luxury and buying a single kopi luwak felt like a status symbol.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'financial crisis' is just another way of saying 'Oops, we spent too much on the wrong things!'?.
• Headline: Personal Shopper; Haut Wheels. Impact: The rise of personal shoppers led to an explosion of shopping cart designs, which eventually resulted in the invention of the hover-cart – because who wants to walk when you can glide through the aisles?. Fact: Did you know that shopping carts were invented in 1937, and they’ve since evolved from simple metal frames to the complex designs we see today – all to accommodate our ever-growing obsession with consumerism?.
• Headline: GUN MAKERS AGREE ON SAFETY LOCKS. Impact: Gun makers agreeing to add child-safety locks created a new industry for lock manufacturers, who eventually developed locks that could only be opened by the owner's fingerprint – because why not make things slightly more complicated?. Fact: Fun fact: Safety locks on guns are a bit like seatbelts in cars – they exist to make us feel safer while still allowing us to act recklessly!.
• Headline: U.S. Labels 30 Groups As Terrorists; Omits I.R.A.. Impact: Labeling 30 groups as terrorists had the unintended consequence of creating a secret club for activists who now use the term 'not on the list' as a badge of honor – a true twist of fate in the world of geopolitical drama.. Fact: Did you know that the Irish Republican Army was only omitted from the list because they were considered 'too organized' – which is an ironic compliment in the world of terrorism?.
• Headline: Mayor Moves To Stanch Gang Violence. Impact: Giuliani's efforts to combat gang violence became a template for mayors everywhere, who then wrote it into their campaign speeches as if they were the first ones to ever think of it – because originality is overrated.. Fact: Did you know that the fight against gang violence has been going on since before Giuliani's time? Apparently, solving crime is a lot like solving a jigsaw puzzle – just when you think you have it figured out, you find a missing piece..