AUGUST 19, 1997

Full News Archive

• Headline: Kite Selects Couples and Janzen for Ryder Cup. Impact: If Fred Couples hadn’t been selected, it’s possible golf as we know it would have taken a different path, leading to a world where mini-golf is the Olympic sport of choice.. Fact: Did you know that Fred Couples once had a hairstyle so magnificent that it was rumored to have its own zip code?.
• Headline: Challenges Faced by New York Liberty. Impact: The New York Liberty’s woes inspired an entire generation of underdog sports stories, leading to the blockbuster film ‘Rocky 17: The Liberty’s Comeback’—totally fictional, but wouldn’t it be delightful?. Fact: The New York Liberty, despite their losses, have remained a beacon of hope for aspiring athletes who are still figuring out how to successfully dribble..
• Headline: Lutherans Build One Bridge But Vote Down a Second One. Impact: This historic agreement led to a series of inter-denominational bake sales that, while not a miracle, did raise enough money to fund several church picnics.. Fact: Lutherans are known for their impressive potluck skills—so if you ever want a church gathering to be a culinary delight, just invite them!.
• Headline: Teamsters and Ex-Rival Go After Apple Industry. Impact: The unionizing of apple pickers sparked a global trend towards labor rights, eventually leading to the rise of a new fruit: the lawyerberry, known for its high litigation content.. Fact: If apple pickers had their way, every apple would come with a union card and a side of healthcare benefits..
• Headline: Orphan Girls of China at Home in New York. Impact: The successful integration of these orphans into American society laid the groundwork for a future where cultural exchange programs became the norm, eventually leading to the rise of fusion cuisine—thank you, dumpling tacos!. Fact: It’s estimated that the number of families adopting internationally has increased so much that ‘adoption’ might just become the next trendy reality show!.
• Headline: Sampras And Chang In Davis Lineup. Impact: Sampras and Chang's partnership inspired countless future athletes, leading to a world where tennis elbow became a common excuse for not doing chores.. Fact: Pete Sampras’s serve was so powerful that it literally made tennis balls reconsider their life choices before being hit..
• Headline: Pawnshop Chains Grow As They Remake Image. Impact: The rise of shiny new pawnshops resulted in a cultural shift, where people started to believe that their old VHS tapes were suddenly worth something—spoiler: they’re not.. Fact: Pawnshop chains often serve as the last refuge for people who still think that their Beanie Babies will fund their retirement..
• Headline: A Judge Gets Manhattan's Oldest Divorce Cases Moving. Impact: The swift handling of these divorce cases inspired a reality show, 'Divorce Court: The Race Against Time,' which eventually led to the invention of the timer as a household item.. Fact: Divorce cases in Manhattan are so old they could probably vote—though they’d likely argue about who gets custody of the voting rights..