JULY 6, 1997

Full News Archive

• Headline: Missing Man After Staten Island Ferry Incident. Impact: This tragic leap triggered a series of discussions about ferry safety, leading to an infamous new rule: all passengers must take a mandatory 'don't jump overboard' course. Who knew the Staten Island Ferry was the original reality show of survival?. Fact: Did you know that the Staten Island Ferry is actually a popular spot for tourists? They say nothing screams 'New York' like jumping off a boat in a fight..
• Headline: Mastering Sidewalk Etiquette. Impact: This sidewalk dance dilemma sparked a nationwide movement known as 'Passerby Etiquette,' which would eventually lead to a 2045 law requiring all pedestrians to carry a guidebook on how to gracefully sidestep awkward encounters.. Fact: Did you know that the average pedestrian spends 37% of their walking time trying to avoid these awkward dances? It's practically a competitive sport..
• Headline: Roy Westmoreland's New Adventure in Delivery. Impact: Westmoreland's small package-delivery service grew into a billion-dollar industry, paving the way for future entrepreneurs to believe they too could make millions without ever having to set foot in an office again. Thanks, Roy!. Fact: Did you know that ASAP Messenger's original slogan was 'We deliver faster than your ex can text you back'? It didn't really take off..
• Headline: Late-Night Clubs, Bars and Restaurants Renew White Plains. Impact: The revitalization of White Plains nightlife inspired countless suburbanites to embrace their inner party animal, leading to the birth of the now-infamous 'Wine Wednesday' and the regrettable trend of 'Barstool Yoga'.. Fact: Did you know that the average age of patrons at these new hotspots is now 45? Welcome to the midlife crisis cocktail hour!.
• Headline: New Rules On Custody: Will They Aid Children?. Impact: As debates raged on about custody rules, this incident spurred a surge in self-help books for parents, many of which were ironically read by the same parents who forgot to read to their kids at bedtime.. Fact: Did you know that nearly 80% of parenting advice is given by people who have never had children? Welcome to the age of expert opinions!.
• Headline: All Hail The Great Greenspan Bull Market. Impact: Greenspan's nonchalance about 'irrational exuberance' led to a decade of investors throwing caution to the wind, ultimately culminating in the 2008 financial crisis. Who knew carelessness could be so lucrative?. Fact: Did you know that 'irrational exuberance' is actually a phrase that investors tattoo on their forearms? It's like a badge of honor for financial misadventures..
• Headline: Marching Along Together at the Mall. Impact: The elderly marching group in Connecticut inadvertently started a trend that would lead to mall-walking championships. Now, competitive mall-walking is a thing, complete with sponsorships from orthopedic shoe companies.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more intense than a mall-walking competition is the parking lot battle for the closest spot? It’s a blood sport..
• Headline: In Hartford, Recitals of Beethoven. Impact: These recitals helped revive classical music appreciation, leading to a resurgence in vinyl records that inevitably sparked the hipster movement. Now we have artisanal coffee shops playing Beethoven on repeat.. Fact: Did you know that Beethoven is the only composer who can make a hipster feel sophisticated while sipping on their cold brew? It’s a miracle of modern times!.
• Headline: ON THE TOWNS. Impact: This listing of events from NJ led to the rise of 'event planning' as a booming industry, with planners now putting more thought into a weekend than they do into their own weddings.. Fact: Did you know that planning a weekend in New Jersey is now considered more complicated than negotiating a peace treaty? Good luck finding a decent bagel while you're at it!.