JUNE 20, 1997

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Rise of Online Drug Culture. Impact: This headline could have led to a virtual Woodstock on the internet, where online drug culture becomes mainstream, and drug-testing kits are sold on Amazon Prime. Talk about instant delivery!. Fact: High Times magazine is essentially the original influencer. They were like the Kardashians of the cannabis world before Instagram existed!.
• Headline: Neal Cassady's Struggle for Stability. Impact: Had Neal Cassady gone for a conventional life, we might have missed out on the entire Beat Generation. Imagine a world where 'On the Road' was just another self-help book.. Fact: Neal Cassady was the original 'bad boy' that inspired countless literary characters. Who knew being a wild spirit could lead to so much academic analysis?.
• Headline: NEW VIDEO RELEASES. Impact: The release of 'Scream' set off a chain reaction in horror films, giving birth to the meta-horror genre that would eventually lead to witty commentary and self-aware scares. Thanks for that, 90s!. Fact: 'Scream' not only revived the horror genre but also made us all question our own survival instincts during a slumber party. Thanks for the panic, Wes Craven!.
• Headline: Son of Dr. King Asserts L.B.J. Role in Plot. Impact: This assertion may have led to endless conspiracy theories about LBJ, further fueling the fire of distrust in government. Who needs fiction when reality is so much more entertaining?. Fact: Theories about conspiracies surrounding Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination have become more popular than 'Game of Thrones' fan theories. Plot twist: they’re both equally tragic!.
• Headline: U.S. Loses Redistricting Challenge. Impact: The Supreme Court's ruling solidified political gerrymandering for decades, shaping elections and public policy like a moldy piece of bread. Who knew a court decision could carry such weight?. Fact: Redistricting is basically adult hide-and-seek, but with a lot more at stake than just finding your friends..
• Headline: Panel Seeks 20-Cent Rise in Cigarette Tax. Impact: Raising cigarette taxes might have sparked a wave of underground cigarette smuggling, leading to a black market of 'cool kids' trying to look tough while sneaking around.. Fact: Raising taxes on cigarettes is like telling teenagers they can't have dessert – it only makes them want it more!.
• Headline: 2 Nominated for Prosecutor. Impact: Nominating Republicans to replace Democrats could have opened the floodgates for a never-ending cycle of political ping-pong, where no one really wins but everyone gets a trophy.. Fact: In New Jersey, political nominations are like the reality show of governance. Everyone is vying for a chance to be the star, but most just end up as background characters..