JUNE 11, 1997

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Unforgettable Interview with Robert B. Parker. Impact: If only Robert had flashed a rubber chicken instead, we might have seen the rise of absurdist literature instead of detective novels. Who knew a knife could change the course of mystery writing forever?. Fact: Parker later wrote a detective novel called 'The Godwulf Manuscript'—clearly, he preferred the pen over the knife!.
• Headline: Pope's Emotional Departure from Poland. Impact: Pope John Paul II's farewell could have set off a chain reaction of pope-hopping vacations, with cardinals trading in their robes for Hawaiian shirts. You might have seen a papal surfboard by now!. Fact: His visits to Poland were pivotal in inspiring the Solidarity movement, so maybe a farewell isn't always just a goodbye..
• Headline: Graf's Knee Surgery and Championship Absence. Impact: Steffi's knee surgery might have inadvertently led to a tennis revolution—after all, without her absence, who knows how many new champions would have emerged, or how many more knee braces would have been sold?. Fact: Graf's absence in Wimbledon led to an entire generation of players who thought knee injuries were just a way to keep the competition interesting!.
• Headline: Stanley Schachter Dies at 75; Psychologist of the Mundane. Impact: Stanley Schachter’s death means there’s one less psychologist to explain why we do the bizarre things we do. Consequently, the world became a little less sane, and a little more... well, us.. Fact: He was famous for the 'two-factor theory of emotion'—which just sounds like fancy talk for 'I’m feeling sad because I didn’t eat breakfast.'.
• Headline: McGreevey Trails by 6 Points. Impact: McGreevey trailing by 6 points could have led to a dramatic political comeback, or maybe just a lot of late-night pizza as he desperately campaigned. Either way, the pizza delivery guy became an unsung hero.. Fact: In New Jersey, trailing by 6 points is just a warm-up for political machinations; they teach that in 'How to Politic in 10 Easy Steps' classes..
• Headline: GOLF REPORT. Impact: Alex Yannis’s golf report likely inspired countless weekend warriors to take up the sport, leading to an explosion of questionable fashion choices on the greens worldwide. Thanks, Alex!. Fact: Did you know golf was invented in the 15th century in Scotland? So if you're bad at it, just blame your ancestors!.
• Headline: Joining NATO: Central Europe Sees a Cure-All. Impact: NATO expansion could have been the spark for a whole new Cold War—just imagine a world where we had to worry about who brought the best potato salad to the next diplomatic picnic!. Fact: Joining NATO is like getting a VIP pass to the world stage. Who wouldn’t want that? Just don’t forget your snacks!.