MAY 16, 1997

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Video Release Highlights Heavy Film. Impact: If Janet Maslin had given Heavy a thumbs down, the entire genre of existential indie films might have imploded, leading to a world where everyone just watches reality TV instead. Thanks, Janet, for saving us from mind-numbing mediocrity!. Fact: Heavy was so heavy that it required a warning label – not for its content, but so viewers wouldn’t get crushed under its emotional weight..
• Headline: Exploring La Promesse at NYFF 1996. Impact: La Promesse’s success at the New York Film Festival sparked a chain reaction of indie films with titles that sound like they belong on a pretentious wine list. Next thing you know, everyone was naming their kids after obscure French films.. Fact: The Dardenne brothers made the film's protagonist so relatable that some viewers actually tried to apply for a job at a factory afterwards..
• Headline: New Video Releases Overview. Impact: One Fine Day got such mixed reviews that it inadvertently led to an increase in the popularity of rom-coms, resulting in a decade of eternal optimism and unrealistic relationship expectations. Thanks for that, Hollywood!. Fact: The film is a fine reminder that the only thing harder than juggling work and love is finding someone who hasn't seen it..
• Headline: White House Defeats Prosecutor In a Small War About Wording. Impact: This White House victory over wording just demonstrates how the battle of semantics can overshadow real issues – like how much ice cream is too much during a political crisis. Spoiler alert: there’s no such thing.. Fact: In the grand scheme of political battles, this one was akin to arguing over the correct placement of a comma in a recipe for disaster..
• Headline: Woman Alters Testimony In Rape Retrial. Impact: The altered testimony in this case sparked a nationwide trend where people decided honesty was overrated. Who knew it would lead to a whole generation of social media influencers?. Fact: Rape retrials are like the sequel nobody asked for – often more confusing and less enjoyable than the original..
• Headline: The Captain Is Happy In His Barn, Sweet Barn. Impact: The Preakness Stakes is a reminder that while horses can run fast, humans will always find a way to turn it into an extravagant event. If only they could race to fix world hunger with such enthusiasm.. Fact: The Captain’s barn is rumored to be the only place where horses are given motivational speeches before the race..
• Headline: The Boys Go Into Business. Impact: This fast-food venture led to a culinary revolution where greasy food became synonymous with friendship. Who knew that two Irish pals would spark the obesity epidemic?. Fact: Their fast-food stand was so successful that it inspired a reality show called 'Grease and Grit' – not to be confused with actual cooking shows..