MAY 12, 1997

Full News Archive

• Headline: Henry A Grunwald's Recent Honors. Impact: Grunwald’s awards led to a secret society of journalists who vowed to only write in puns, causing a literary renaissance that ultimately resulted in the rise of pun-themed political campaigns. Thanks a lot, Henry.. Fact: Fun fact: Grunwald’s last name is a combination of the German words for 'green' and 'forest,' which is ironic because he probably never found a tree that would pay him for his insights..
• Headline: Decline of the Mini-Van Era. Impact: The decline of minivan sales led to a resurgence of the sedan, which unexpectedly started a rivalry between sedans and SUVs, creating a national debate over which vehicle type could hold more snacks for road trips.. Fact: Fun fact: Minivans are actually the only vehicles that have a dedicated 'soccer-mom' feature, which includes built-in coffee holders and kid-wrangling capabilities..
• Headline: Jobs, but Few New Skills, for Those on Welfare. Impact: This optimistic push created a new industry of community service job fairs, which eventually became the world's leading venue for awkward small talk and cringeworthy networking attempts. Networking is the new job skill, after all.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'community service' was originally coined to describe the act of making awkward eye contact while waiting in line at the DMV?.
• Headline: A Pair of Foxy Grandmas Who Tangle With a Wolf. Impact: This quirky play inspired a trend of grandmas everywhere adopting wild personas, leading to an increase in knitting clubs that focused on crafting wolf costumes, ultimately resulting in the first annual 'Grandma vs. Wolf' costume contest.. Fact: Did you know that 'Foxy Grandma' was once a popular term used to describe anyone who could make a mean apple pie? Now it just refers to grandmothers who have Instagram accounts..
• Headline: The Internet as Commerce: Who Pays, Under What Rules?. Impact: The debates over internet commerce rules led to the creation of a secret cabal called the 'Domain Name Syndicate,' which inadvertently created a black market for domain names that has caused countless awkward conversations about web hosting.. Fact: Did you know that the first ever online purchase was a pizza? Yes, because what better way to test an emerging technology than with food?.
• Headline: Families Emerge as Silent Victims Of Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment. Impact: This tragic revelation raised awareness about medical ethics, eventually leading to stricter regulations and the establishment of the 'Tuskegee Effect,' a phenomenon where people became increasingly skeptical of medical trials.. Fact: The Tuskegee Syphilis Study is a poignant reminder of the ethical lapses in medical research. It sparked the birth of informed consent, because apparently, informing people that they are part of a study is important..
• Headline: As tourism stagnates, Hawaii fights back with a campaign to invigorate its image.. Impact: The campaign not only revived Hawaii's tourism but also set off a wave of slightly absurd promotional tactics worldwide, leading to a fad where cities would hold 'Hula Dance for Your Town' contests, making the world a much sillier place.. Fact: Did you know that Hawaii is actually the only U.S. state that grows coffee commercially? So, while you're sipping your overpriced latte, just remember: it probably traveled further than you did this year!.
• Headline: Bridge. Impact: The rise of bridge tournaments in Vegas inadvertently led to the creation of 'Bridge Night' in homes across America, where family feuds erupted over who was the better card player, resulting in countless awkward Thanksgivings.. Fact: Did you know that bridge is often referred to as the game of the elderly? But really, it's just a clever ploy to keep the young ones off the streets and out of trouble!.