APRIL 12, 1997

Full News Archive

• Headline: Giuliani Ends Audit Standoff with McCall. Impact: This moment marked the beginning of a long, winding road that eventually led to the rise of 'audit culture' in politics, making accountants the new rockstars—except they don’t have any groupies, just angry taxpayers.. Fact: Did you know that Giuliani's ability to agree to audits didn’t actually change how politicians handle money? Shocking, I know!.
• Headline: Mount Laurel's Housing Breakthrough. Impact: The approval of this rental complex became a catalyst for suburban sprawl, leading to the rise of 'McMansion' culture. It's like a butterfly flapped its wings and suddenly everyone needed a three-car garage.. Fact: Fun fact: The legal battle lasted so long it could have qualified as a reality TV show—'Real Suburbia: Keeping Up with the Zoning Laws.'.
• Headline: Army Trial Questions Discipline and Power Dynamics. Impact: This court-martial opened the floodgates for discussions about military culture, leading to an endless series of reforms, debates, and a lot of eye-rolling from anyone who's ever seen a military movie.. Fact: Did you know that this trial was so scandalous it made 'Full Metal Jacket' look like a rom-com?.
• Headline: Connecticut Moves To Assume Control Of Hartford Schools. Impact: This event set a precedent for state takeovers of failing schools, leading to a nationwide trend where local governance became a hot mess and teachers started wondering if they should just become baristas instead.. Fact: Fun fact: This was the first time a local school was dissolved, proving that sometimes the only way to fix things is to just hit the reset button—like on your Wi-Fi router..
• Headline: Truck Tests Planned. Impact: The introduction of emissions tests for trucks sparked a nationwide revolution in air quality, ultimately leading to cleaner air, less smog, and people actually being able to see the sky for the first time in decades.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing heavier than a 26,000-pound truck is the paperwork involved in passing emissions tests? It's like a math exam but with bigger stakes!.
• Headline: Back on the Bus for Whitman. Impact: Whitman's bus tour became a template for future political campaigns, ensuring that no election would be complete without a candidate awkwardly waving from a vehicle, reminding everyone that they still exist.. Fact: Fun fact: Whitman's bus was probably more popular than she was, given that it didn’t have to answer any tough questions!.
• Headline: Mystified Air Force Says Pilot Who Vanished Was in Control. Impact: This incident led to a series of conspiracy theories about rogue pilots and secret government projects that would make even the wildest sci-fi writers raise an eyebrow.. Fact: Did you know that disappearing mid-flight is a lot like a magician's trick? Except in this case, no one is impressed, and the stakes are way higher..
• Headline: Bridge. Impact: The 110th anniversary of the Hamilton Bridge Club inspired a nationwide resurgence in bridge-playing, leading to a resurgence of grannies everywhere declaring themselves 'bridge champions' and challenging the youth to put down their smartphones.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing older than the Hamilton Bridge Club might be the jokes told by its members during their matches!.
• Headline: An Iron Fist For Makers Of Velvet Gloves. Impact: Le Bouvier's complaints about federal competition led to a surge in artisan glove-making, as hipsters everywhere began to romanticize the idea of hand-stitched, organic, gluten-free gloves.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing softer than velvet gloves is the government’s approach to regulating the prison industry? They might as well be using cotton balls!.