MARCH 3, 1997

Full News Archive

• Headline: Impact of Unseasonably Warm Winters. Impact: If only flea beetles knew that their rise would lead to a nationwide campaign for organic farming, they might have reconsidered their life choices. Who knew a warm winter could start a revolution in crop management?. Fact: Fun fact: Flea beetles are not actually flea-sized; they're just really, really annoying..
• Headline: Siphon Triumphs at Santa Anita Handicap. Impact: The Siphon winning the Santa Anita Handicap created a ripple that made horse racing more glamorous, leading to people betting on anything from rubber ducks to their neighbor's cat. Thanks, Mandella. You did this.. Fact: Did you know 'Siphon' is not just a winning racehorse but also a term for how your wallet empties every time you visit a casino?.
• Headline: First African-American Education Data Book Released. Impact: This book on African-American education data made waves, leading to a future where education statistics are weaponized in debates. Knowledge is power, but only if you can get it from a dusty old book.. Fact: The first volume of the African-American Education Data Book was so dense, it could probably be used as a doorstop in many educational institutions..
• Headline: After Decades of Missteps, How Cloning Succeeded. Impact: The successful cloning of a lamb set off a chain reaction that would eventually lead to a reality show about 'Cloned Pets of the Rich and Famous.' Because why not exploit science for entertainment?. Fact: Did you know that Dolly the sheep was named after Dolly Parton? Apparently, they both had a lot of 'mammary' in common..
• Headline: Bridge. Impact: Alan Truscott's bridge column might have inspired countless future architects to consider structurally sound coffee tables. The ripple effect of urban planning has no bounds.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more stable than a well-built bridge is the number of puns you can make about 'bridging' gaps in society?.
• Headline: Albania Calls An Emergency As Chaos Rises. Impact: Albania's chaos led to a surge in tourism as thrill-seekers flocked to experience anarchy firsthand, leading to the first 'Adventurous Anarchy Tours.' All thanks to pyramid schemes!. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more unstable than Albania's economy during the chaos was the government’s grasp on reality..
• Headline: Pataki Speechmaking Pays for Growing Debt. Impact: Gov. Pataki's speech-making to pay off debt could have inspired future politicians to take up stand-up comedy as a side gig. Who needs policy when you can have punchlines?. Fact: Did you know that Pataki's speeches were so riveting they often left audiences wondering if they could pay him to stop?.
• Headline: How to Kill Rent Control And Survive. Impact: Sen. Bruno's confidence in blocking rent control not only impacted housing policy but also sparked a new trend of 'survival of the fittest' in the rental market. Welcome to the Hunger Games of real estate.. Fact: Fun fact: Rent control debates are the modern equivalent of gladiatorial combat—minus the lions and with much more paperwork..
• Headline: A Mob Film That Takes Its Audience Undercover. Impact: Joseph D Pistone's infiltration of the Mafia laid the groundwork for a new genre of undercover films, leading to a future where every mobster gets a biopic and every actor gets an Oscar.. Fact: Did you know that 'Donnie Brasco' was based on a true story? Because nothing says 'entertainment' like a real-life FBI agent becoming best friends with a mobster..