JANUARY 5, 1997

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Canterbury's Natural Wonders. Impact: David Cohen's trip to Canterbury inspired a hundred hipsters to seek 'authentic' experiences, leading to a global obsession with artisanal toast and overpriced coffee.. Fact: Canterbury is not just a place; it's also where the phrase 'I've been there, done that' became painfully overused..
• Headline: Maine's Lost-Goods Law Controversy. Impact: Lisa Knobel's discovery of a gold necklace led to the birth of a new reality show called 'Lost and Found: Tax Edition', where contestants compete to find the shiniest objects without facing tax penalties.. Fact: Maine's Lost-Goods Law is a great reminder that even finding treasure can come with a side of bureaucratic heartbreak..
• Headline: Clinton's Medicare Premium Decision. Impact: The decision to not raise Medicare premiums theoretically led to the invention of the phrase 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it', which then inspired countless politicians to ignore real issues.. Fact: Medicare cuts are like a bad haircut; no one wants them, but sometimes they just happen..
• Headline: One Solid Vote for a Nuclear Power Comeback. Impact: Bruce D Kenyon's leadership at Northeast Nuclear Energy Corp inadvertently sparked a renaissance of interest in nuclear power, leading to an uptick in both energy conferences and conspiracy theories about irradiated vegetables.. Fact: Nuclear power plants are often referred to as 'the unsung heroes'—mostly because nobody wants to sing about them..
• Headline: Time Warner Official Breaks With the Mayor. Impact: The fallout from Parsons' rift with Giuliani resulted in a national debate about whether political allies should ever be allowed to disagree, leading to the invention of the 'Friendship Agreement'.. Fact: Breaking up with a mayor is almost as dramatic as breaking up with a significant other—especially when there are press conferences involved..
• Headline: New Zealand on Two Wheels. Impact: Bruce Weber's cycling tour in New Zealand led to a bizarre trend of people deciding to bike everywhere, which somehow resulted in an increase in hipster beards and artisanal bicycle shops.. Fact: New Zealand's South Island is so beautiful that even the sheep are considering taking selfies..
• Headline: Defense Spray Law Leads to Lessons in Use. Impact: The introduction of pepper spray for self-defense inspired a series of reality shows about self-defense techniques, culminating in the now-infamous 'Grandma vs. Intruder' series.. Fact: Teaching the elderly to use pepper spray might just be the most entertaining community service project ever..
• Headline: Japanese Antidote for Excess in Hartsdale. Impact: M H Reed's restaurant review inadvertently led to a rise in 'food critics' who don't know the difference between a fork and a spoon, resulting in widespread culinary chaos.. Fact: Akaihana is not just a restaurant; it’s a culinary experience that gets you to reconsider all your life choices over sushi..