NOVEMBER 23, 1996

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Significance of the Bridge Column Deal. Impact: Little did they know, the fate of all future bridge designs hinged on this diagrammed deal, leading to the invention of the 'Bridge to Nowhere'—a project that would haunt politicians forever.. Fact: Bridges have been connecting people since the Romans, but hey, diagramming them is where the real excitement is!.
• Headline: Giuliani's Shift on School Control. Impact: Giuliani's withdrawal from school control led to an unforeseen chain reaction: parents everywhere became experts in school board politics, pushing for pizza day over educational reform.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more complicated than New York City school politics is the plot of a soap opera..
• Headline: Bebe Neuwirth's Broadway Comeback. Impact: Bebe Neuwirth's Broadway success prompted a flurry of actors to abandon TV, only to realize they were better off in the world of sitcoms—thank you, 'Friends'.. Fact: Did you know Bebe Neuwirth once danced with a ghost in 'Chicago'? Just kidding—she just acted like it was a Broadway show!.
• Headline: Chinese Cut Out the Middleman in Cashmere. Impact: By cutting out the middleman, China inadvertently sparked a global cashmere craze, which led to a shortage of goats and a rise in goat yoga classes. Who knew?. Fact: Cashmere is so luxurious that if it were a person, it would probably wear sunglasses indoors and sip artisanal coffee..
• Headline: Princeton Library Is Closed. Impact: The closure of Princeton Library resulted in an unexpected surge in students discovering the wonders of the internet—much to the horror of their professors.. Fact: Asbestos removal: the only time people cheer for a long wait in a library..
• Headline: Dutch Bank In $1.9 Billion Deal for S.&L.. Impact: ABN-AMRO's record-breaking deal sent ripples through the banking world, inspiring the phrase, 'Go big or go home,' which later became a popular motto for reality TV stars.. Fact: In banking, as in life, the higher the price, the more likely it is that someone will regret it later..
• Headline: Italy Moves to Rejoin Europe's Currency System. Impact: Italy's move to rejoin the currency system led to a sudden spike in pizza exports, proving that money and mozzarella are truly inseparable.. Fact: If only the lira could talk, it would probably say, 'Why did I ever leave?'.
• Headline: Pascrell to Join Transit Panel. Impact: Pascrell's appointment to the Transit Panel marked the beginning of the great 'Who Can Ride the Bus Better' competition, changing public transportation forever.. Fact: Joining committees is like being on a team—only with less athleticism and more paperwork!.