NOVEMBER 16, 1996

Full News Archive

• Headline: Understanding Key Interest Rates Globally. Impact: This riveting table of key interest rates led to such shocking financial literacy that it caused an unexpected surge in people understanding the difference between APR and APY. The consequences? Countless dinner parties were ruined by conversations about compounding interest.. Fact: Interest rates are like fine wines; they can make you feel good or give you a headache depending on how you handle them..
• Headline: Treasury Prices Decline Amid Profit-Taking. Impact: The retreat of treasury prices sparked a chain reaction in the stock market, which ultimately led to a minor renaissance in the art of profit-taking. Thanks to this event, day traders began using more coffee and fewer brain cells in their decision-making.. Fact: Investors taking profits is just a fancy way of saying they got scared and ran for the hills, leaving behind a trail of confused financial analysts..
• Headline: Utah Senator Scolds Critics Of Prosecutor In Whitewater. Impact: Senator Hatch's scolding of critics led to a prolonged era of finger-pointing in American politics, where smears became a national sport. Little did he know, this would pave the way for reality TV to become more influential than actual governance.. Fact: In political circles, 'attack dogs' is just code for 'people you don't want to invite to your barbecue.'.
• Headline: Opening Up T.S. Eliot In All the Empty Places. Impact: Deborah Warner's stage adaptation of 'The Waste Land' set a precedent for all future adaptations of literature, reminding us that even the most profound works can be turned into a one-woman show. Shakespeare was probably rolling in his grave.. Fact: T.S. Eliot wrote 'The Waste Land' in a fit of post-war existential dread, which ironically became the perfect backdrop for a one-woman performance filled with angst..
• Headline: White House Says Commerce Aide Sought Fund-Raising Job in Meeting With Clinton. Impact: The revelation about John Huang's fundraising ambitions triggered a series of conspiracy theories about political fundraising that would last decades. Who knew that one meeting could open a Pandora's box of suspicion?. Fact: Politicians seeking funds is like kids asking for candy; it’s hard to say no, but you know it’s probably not good for them..
• Headline: Excerpts From Interview With Clinton: 'Global Economy' and the U.S.. Impact: Excerpts from Clinton's interview on the global economy led to widespread confusion among viewers, who suddenly felt the urge to invest in stocks and bonds without a clue what they were doing. The financial apocalypse was only a few clicks away.. Fact: Clinton's take on the global economy was so vague that it could have doubled as a fortune cookie message..