OCTOBER 31, 1996

Full News Archive

• Headline: Maximizing Bathroom Space Efficiently. Impact: The bathroom accessory revolution sparked an unexpected wave of DIY home improvement shows, leading to an explosion of questionable interior design choices and a national shortage of beige paint.. Fact: In ancient Rome, they used communal latrines without partitions. So, the next time you’re struggling with your bathroom space, just remember: it could be worse..
• Headline: Victory for Medicare Patients in H.M.O.s. Impact: This case set a precedent that transformed patient rights, ultimately leading to a future where everyone has to read 50 pages of fine print just to find out what their insurance actually covers.. Fact: Before this ruling, Medicare patients were often left in the dark. Now, they just have to deal with the light of their confusing policies instead..
• Headline: Lorenzo De Versace. Impact: Gianni Versace's expansion plans led to an influx of extravagant homes that inspired a generation of millennials to believe they could live in fantasy worlds, only to end up in studio apartments with chipped paint.. Fact: Versace once claimed that fashion is a form of art. So, essentially, when you wear sweatpants, you’re just expressing your inner Picasso..
• Headline: Perot Challenges President. Impact: Perot’s challenge to Clinton created a ripple effect that made televised debates a staple of modern politics, giving rise to countless memes and hashtags that would mock politicians for decades to come.. Fact: The only thing more entertaining than a political debate? Watching the commentators try to make sense of it all while sipping on their overpriced lattes..
• Headline: Casino Granted a License. Impact: The granting of this casino license opened floodgates to the gambling industry, leading to a world where people can now lose their money in every conceivable way, including online bingo at 3 AM.. Fact: Before casinos were commonplace, people had to find other creative ways to lose money, like investing in Beanie Babies or starting a band..
• Headline: For One Dole Aide, Optimism Is Unavoidable. Impact: Warfield’s optimism fueled the belief that even the most hopeless political campaigns could still inspire a few catchy slogans and a lot of awkward public appearances.. Fact: Bob Dole's campaign may have been trailing, but at least he had the best dad jokes in town. That’s a win, right?.
• Headline: Heading for Hopeless, but Not Gone Yet. Impact: The review of 'This Is Our Youth' led to an entire generation reconsidering their life choices while simultaneously deciding to pursue degrees in drama instead of stable careers.. Fact: The title of the play might just be the most relatable thing about being a young adult: 'This is our youth'—and also our constant existential crisis..
• Headline: Officer Admits Misconduct. Impact: The misconduct admission sparked a movement toward greater accountability in law enforcement, resulting in a future where police officers now have to think twice before holding loaded weapons at their colleagues.. Fact: In the world of law enforcement, ‘misconduct’ can mean anything from being a little too enthusiastic with a donut to holding a gun to someone’s head. Guess which one takes precedence?.