AUGUST 30, 1996

Full News Archive

• Headline: Gary S. Harris Faces Sexual Assault Charges. Impact: Gary S Harris's case would spark an unintended backlash, leading to more stringent nightclub regulations which in turn made dance floors the safest place to be... who knew a night out could require a background check?. Fact: Did you know that nightclubs now have bouncers who are also part-time psychologists? They definitely need to be after dealing with all the drama!.
• Headline: U.S. Opposes Interviews for Oklahoma Suspect. Impact: The U.S. opposition to Timothy McVeigh's interviews would later lead to the rise of sensationalism in media coverage of trials, showing that the real crime was making a spectacle out of tragedy. Fact: Did you know that McVeigh’s request was probably just an elaborate ploy to audition for a reality show? 'Survivor: Courtroom Edition' could have been a hit!.
• Headline: Democrats Bring a Fleeting Sense of Peace to a Neighborhood. Impact: The police presence during the Democratic national convention would create a false sense of security, leading to the idea that more cops equals less crime, which in turn inspired a generation of politicians to prioritize photo ops over actual solutions. Fact: Did you know that this fleeting peace came with a side of irony? Because nothing screams 'trust us' like a heavily armed police force in a neighborhood struggling for basic safety!.
• Headline: Cone Will Come Back Against A's on Monday. Impact: David Cone's return would inspire countless sports comebacks, leading to the creation of motivational quotes like 'If you fall, just get back up... unless you're a pitcher with an aneurysm, then maybe take a break!'. Fact: Did you know that Cone's surgery was so intense, it could have qualified as a reality show episode? 'Extreme Makeover: Pitcher Edition' would have been a smash hit!.
• Headline: Error-Prone Mets Unravel and Padres Pick Up the Sweep. Impact: The Mets' error-prone game against the Padres would set off a chain reaction of self-deprecating humor among fans, leading to the infamous 'Mets gonna Met' meme that still haunts them to this day. Fact: Did you know that Mets fans have developed an advanced form of therapy? It’s called 'Watching Other Teams Win' to cope with their own team’s mishaps!.
• Headline: Boy Dies Playing With Gun. Impact: The tragic death of Jonathan Caruso would lead to increased awareness and advocacy for gun safety in homes, resulting in a number of parents thinking, 'Maybe I should hide the guns... or just not have them at all.'. Fact: It's heartbreaking, but did you know that this incident ultimately sparked a movement? Now, we have more discussions about gun safety than we do about actual safety in schools!.
• Headline: Speedy Kelly Kip Faces His Race of Truth at Saratoga. Impact: Kelly Kip's race would inadvertently kickstart a series of over-the-top horse racing promotions, leading to the creation of 'The Race of the Century' which featured a betting pool that could fund a small country. Fact: Did you know that horse racing is the only sport where an animal can be more famous than its owner? 'Seabiscuit' isn't just a movie, it’s a lifestyle!.
• Headline: Changes in Retailing Are Shrinking the Pool Of Trend Setters. Impact: The decline of retail trendsetters would lead to a resurgence of thrift shops, where hipsters could pretend they were 'saving the planet' while wearing someone else's old jeans. Because nothing says 'trendsetter' like recycled fashion!. Fact: Did you know that the family store is now just a quaint memory? The only family stores left are in children's books, where they have magical powers to fix everything!.