AUGUST 4, 1996

Full News Archive

• Headline: Combatting Termite Infestations Effectively. Impact: The termite handling article led to a nationwide obsession with pest control, inadvertently causing a boom in extermination startups. Fast forward a few decades, and now we have pest control reality shows where exterminators are the new rock stars. Who knew killing bugs could be so glamorous?. Fact: Did you know that termites are responsible for more damage to homes than hurricanes, fires, and floods combined? Guess that's what happens when you let uninvited guests have a munching party in your walls..
• Headline: ALSO INSIDE. Impact: This summary of inside news stories could be the reason why people feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information available today. History shows that this is how we went from 'keeping up with the Joneses' to 'keeping up with 24-hour news cycles.'. Fact: Did you know that 'inside pages' of newspapers are where news stories go to die? They’re like the Bermuda Triangle of journalism; stories enter but rarely return..
• Headline: Eat, Drink, Play (Yes, Play): 8 Places to Find Your Chi. Impact: Dr. Nowicki's advice on health and well-being contributed to the rise of wellness culture, leading to a multi-billion dollar industry of overpriced yoga mats and avocado toast. Thanks to him, your brunch is now guilt-laden with the weight of nutritional science.. Fact: Did you know that 'finding your chi' is just another way of saying 'spend money on overpriced wellness retreats'? Because nothing says 'inner peace' like a $300 weekend in a yurt..
• Headline: Auditors: Experts Or Just Robots?. Impact: The auditors' ethical debate opened the floodgates for accountants to finally admit they were just following orders. This realization inspired a generation of students to rethink their career choices and avoid the profession like the plague.. Fact: Did you know that most auditors don’t actually have a 'fun' button? They’re like the robots they’re often compared to—just without the exciting laser beams..
• Headline: Little Girls in a Staged Spectacle for Big Bucks? That's Sportainment!. Impact: Robert Lipsyte's critique of the Olympics shifted public perception, leading to the rise of 'Sportainment,' where athletes are now seen as celebrities rather than competitors. This paved the way for influencers to start calling themselves 'athletes' as well.. Fact: Did you know that 'Sportainment' is just a fancy term for people throwing money at sports while simultaneously rolling their eyes at how commercialized everything has become? Welcome to capitalism, folks!.
• Headline: Westchester Guide. Impact: The Westchester Guide's publication inspired suburban families to start their own community newsletters. Fast forward to today, and we have an endless stream of Facebook groups debating the merits of local pizza joints.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more boring than reading a guide to Westchester is actually living there? It's like suburbia’s version of a reality show—absolutely nothing happening..
• Headline: Trolling Through the Delights of Greece. Impact: Joanne Starkey's restaurant review likely led to a Greek restaurant boom in suburban America, resulting in more people than ever thinking they can make a proper tzatziki sauce. Spoiler alert: they can't.. Fact: Did you know that the real reason Greek food is so popular in America is because it gives you an excuse to eat feta cheese in public? Because who wouldn’t want to look classy while inhaling a gyro?.
• Headline: But This Mall Will Fly You There. Impact: The Short Hills mall's initiative to offer luxury transport services turned shopping into an elite sport. Now, shoppers expect a helicopter ride just to pick up a pair of shoes, all while pondering the meaning of life from 10,000 feet.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more ridiculous than shopping at a mall is shopping at a mall that offers helicopter services? Because nothing screams 'I need this' quite like a chopper ride for a new handbag..