APRIL 12, 1996

Full News Archive

• Headline: Comedy and Conspiracy: A Neighborly Dilemma. Impact: Had the professor actually confronted the alleged Nazi, he could have inadvertently caused a chain reaction leading to the formation of a secret society of disgruntled neighbors, ultimately resulting in a reality TV show about nosy neighbors—because why not exploit everything?. Fact: This film was so listless, it could have been mistaken for a documentary about watching paint dry..
• Headline: Horror Film Shoot Turns Chilling. Impact: If those seven friends had managed to create a successful horror film, it might have sparked a trend of abandoned mansion tourism, leading to a spike in ghost hunting reality shows and a forever haunted generation of influencers.. Fact: The only thing scarier than the horror film was the realization that the actors were probably just as lost in life as their characters..
• Headline: Exploring Happiness in Cross-Dressing Cinema. Impact: If happiness pills became a hit, we might have ended up in a world where everyone was blissfully ignorant, leading to an existential crisis when someone accidentally discovered the concept of 'critical thinking.'. Fact: The irony is that this film was happier than the audience leaving the theater afterwards..
• Headline: FILM REVIEW;In Projects, Deejay Calls The Tune. Impact: These vignettes could have inspired a wave of indie filmmakers to create even more confusing allegories, resulting in a cultural movement that left everyone scratching their heads and desperately Googling 'What did I just watch?'. Fact: Inner city Toronto was just as confused by these stories as the rest of the world, and that’s saying something!.
• Headline: FILM REVIEW;For Daddy, A Boyfriend From Hell. Impact: Had this teenage girl's disastrous relationship gone viral, it might have led to the creation of a 'Boyfriend from Hell' support group, helping teens navigate their own romantic nightmares and ultimately creating a new genre of self-help books.. Fact: At least in this film, the boyfriend was a nightmare—unlike the real-life versions who are just boring..