FEBRUARY 10, 1996

Full News Archive

• Headline: Air Force Rogue and Stolen Warheads. Impact: If only that renegade pilot had returned those nuclear warheads, we might have avoided the rise of supervillains in cinema and, consequently, the odd rise of real-life supervillains who think they can fly without consequences. Thanks, Hollywood!. Fact: Did you know that in real life, stealing nuclear warheads is slightly more complicated than just a smoking swagger? Just a tad!.
• Headline: The Resilience of Acting: A Unique 'Hamlet'. Impact: The shoestring production of 'Hamlet' inspired countless aspiring actors to believe they could perform Shakespeare on a whim, leading to an alarming increase in tragic monologues at dinner parties.. Fact: Funny enough, 'Hamlet' is often performed with actual shoestrings—because, you know, budgets..
• Headline: Exploring 'A Walk on the Wild Side'. Impact: The street-punk chaos set off a chain reaction of car thefts and a nationwide debate about how to properly shoplift. Who knew a lack of goods could lead to a surplus of bad ideas?. Fact: Interestingly, 'shopping' as a crime became a thing, but only after everyone realized that breaking windows is way more fun than using actual doors..
• Headline: FILM REVIEW;Of Beauty, in the Ideal And Only Skin Deep. Impact: This film prompted a wave of midlife crises and class reunions that turned into wild parties, where attendees realized that reminiscing about high school is just an excuse to drink cheap beer.. Fact: Fun fact: Blue-collar guys often excel at telling stories about high school while simultaneously avoiding the realization that adult life is just one big class reunion..