JANUARY 28, 1996

Full News Archive

• Headline: Soapbox: A Platform for Democracy. Impact: Little did the citizens know that the resignation of Charles Millard would lead to a series of increasingly ridiculous local elections, culminating in a reality TV star becoming mayor. Thank you, democracy!. Fact: Did you know that 'soapbox' originally referred to an actual box for soap? Now it’s just a metaphor for people who want to hear themselves talk..
• Headline: Standoff Over Privacy in Cyberspace. Impact: The showdown in cyberspace marked the beginning of a long battle between privacy advocates and lawmakers, resulting in the invention of the 'cyber-lawyer'—a rare breed that knows how to charge you for every byte.. Fact: Fun fact: The first law passed in cyberspace was actually about whether or not cats could own domain names. Spoiler alert: They can..
• Headline: Remembering Abdul Kareem Alsahybi. Impact: The passing of Abdul Kareem Alsahybi marked the end of an era in Cobble Hill, leading to the rise of artisanal kale shops that charge $10 for a single leaf. Thanks, gentrification!. Fact: Did you know that flowers at delis are basically a way to distract you from the fact that your sandwich is old enough to vote?.
• Headline: School Districts Are Trying to Tighten Registration Requirements. Impact: Tightening registration requirements set off a chain reaction of school districts doing the same, ultimately leading to a national 'Border Patrol' for school districts, complete with checkpoints and ID checks.. Fact: Fun fact: The first registration requirement was just a form asking if you could tie your shoes. It's all downhill from there..
• Headline: SOAPBOX;The War on Drugs in the Workplace. Impact: This war on drugs led to the rise of a new industry: the 'pain management consultant', who specializes in keeping employees both drug-free and blissfully unaware of their own injuries.. Fact: Did you know that the 'drug-free workplace' policy was originally just a suggestion to avoid bringing your grandma's secret brownies to work?.
• Headline: WESTCHESTER BOOKCASE. Impact: The release of 'The Romanovs The Final Chapter' sparked a renewed interest in royal families, resulting in a series of reality shows where distant relatives of monarchs compete for the title of 'Most Likely to Be a King.'. Fact: Fun fact: The Romanovs were actually just trying to start a trend of dramatic family reunions, but it backfired spectacularly..
• Headline: FROM THE DESK OF;In a Single Wire, a New World. Impact: A.J.'s note inadvertently inspired a wave of students to start writing home, which led to the invention of social media as we know it. Thanks, A.J., for giving us endless vacation photos!. Fact: Did you know that 'Shangri-La' is just a fancy way of saying 'I need a vacation from my vacation'?.
• Headline: When More Than Ideas Are Needed In Business. Impact: The struggle for financing led to the creation of numerous crowdfunding platforms—because why not ask strangers for cash instead of saving up like a responsible adult?. Fact: Fun fact: The first crowdfunding campaign was for a man trying to fund his potato salad recipe. Spoiler: It was not successful..
• Headline: BACKTALK;Cowboys Over America. Impact: The Dallas Cowboys' popularity shift marked the beginning of America's obsession with sports teams that are more about branding than actual wins, paving the way for teams to be more like fashion brands.. Fact: Did you know that the Cowboys are the only team that can lose an entire season and still sell more merchandise than most winning teams? Go figure..