SEPTEMBER 27, 1995

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring TV's Dark Comedy with Barbie Reporter. Impact: If only TV had the power to redeem all those who trust it! Fast forward a few decades, and we have reality television. Now, that's a real moral compass, isn't it? Who knew a Barbie-doll reporter could set off a chain reaction leading to a generation of people believing that fame is worth more than integrity?. Fact: Did you know that 'Barbie-doll' is just a euphemism for 'plastic'? Kind of like how we call politicians 'public servants.'.
• Headline: Lazarus Store Project Revitalizes Downtown Pittsburgh. Impact: This department store's construction is the pebble that started a landslide. Little did they know, this would lead to Pittsburgh becoming the place where the phrase 'retail therapy' would be coined. Just think of all the emotional spending that would come from it!. Fact: Fun fact: Lazarus was a biblical figure who came back from the dead, which is fitting for a department store trying to revive downtown Pittsburgh. Talk about retail resurrection!.
• Headline: Austen's Lost Love Revisited. Impact: The chance encounter of lost lovers set off a series of events that would lead to countless rom-coms, not to mention a sudden spike in people rethinking their high school crushes. Who knew a little Austen could lead to generations of awkward reunions?. Fact: Did you know that Jane Austen's works are often credited for single-handedly keeping the spinsterhood movement alive? Thank you, Jane, for making it sexy to be single!.
• Headline: Business Travel; Corporations planning executive retreats have some unusual options to pick from.. Impact: Ah, the corporate retreat—where the fate of human civilization is decided over trust falls and overpriced lattes. This trend would lead to an entire industry built on pretending that team-building is more important than actual work. Thanks for the distraction, corporate America!. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'team-building' is just corporate jargon for 'let’s all pretend we like each other while we ignore our actual jobs'? Because nothing says 'team spirit' like a forced hike in matching t-shirts!.