AUGUST 27, 1995

Full News Archive

• Headline: SOAPBOX: Fighting for Pier 84. Impact: The fight for Pier 84 led to the eventual establishment of the International Pier Preservation Society, which now is responsible for ensuring every pier is decorated with at least one 'Welcome' sign and a collection of colorful plastic chairs.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more numerous than the signs at Pier 84 is the number of people who ignore them. Welcome to America!.
• Headline: Mastering Phone Communication Skills. Impact: Barb Tomlin's phone mirroring technique inspired a generation of home workers to start their own self-help revolution, leading to an explosion of motivational podcasts featuring people talking to themselves in mirrors.. Fact: Did you know Barb's full-length mirror also doubles as a portal to her 'better self'? It’s just a shame that self is still in pajamas..
• Headline: NEIGHBORHOOD REPORT: ST. ALBANS; Incest Lengthens Minister's List Of Sex Crimes. Impact: Willie Crawford's actions sparked a nationwide debate on the vetting process for storefront ministers, leading to a new reality TV show: 'Clerical Confessions,' where ministers reveal their secrets... and regrets.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'storefront minister' originated from the fact that many of them actually sell snacks on the side? Holy pretzels!.
• Headline: NEIGHBORHOOD REPORT: SPRINGFIELD GARDENS; . . . But Neighbors, Savvy After Years of Fighting, Take Their 'Win' With Salt. Impact: Community Board 12's skepticism about temporary housing led to the creation of the 'Skeptics' Club,' where members gather to discuss how they knew everything would go wrong, even before it did.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing longer than James Davis's list of grievances is the line at the local coffee shop when he tries to voice them..
• Headline: Defenders of Coast Girding for Storms. Impact: The discussions about Hurricane Felix inadvertently led to the invention of the waterproof beach umbrella, which later became the go-to accessory for people who just wanted to pretend they were not getting rained on.. Fact: Did you know that many beachgoers still believe that the best defense against hurricanes is a good tan? Spoiler alert: It’s not..
• Headline: Merchants Oppose Proposed Opening of Big Discounter in Smithtown. Impact: The opposition to the big discounter led to the rise of artisanal gift shops where hand-painted mugs became the new currency of hipster barter systems, resulting in a shortage of actual money.. Fact: Did you know that in Smithtown, there’s a mug for every occasion, including one that says 'I survived the Caldor Wars'?.
• Headline: Small Scale, Great Charm: 5 Museums. Impact: The charm of smaller museums inspired a cultural renaissance where every neighborhood decided to open a museum dedicated to their most mundane achievements, like the 'Museum of Left Socks.'. Fact: Did you know that the Gotoh Museum is famous for its wisteria trellis, which is secretly just a clever ploy to attract Instagram influencers?.
• Headline: Sailing Widens Its Net In a Quiet Harbor. Impact: The expansion of sailing in quiet harbors led to a global sailing craze, which resulted in an unexpected shortage of seagulls, as they were all too busy being featured in yacht commercials.. Fact: Did you know that the Pequot Yacht Club has a strict 'no sailing' policy during family reunions? Apparently, nothing says 'tension' quite like a sailing race..