AUGUST 16, 1995

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fort Lauderdale Sees New Office Project Surge. Impact: The construction of new office projects in Fort Lauderdale set off a chain reaction that led to a bizarre competition among other cities to outdo each other with increasingly extravagant office spaces. By 2030, office towers were competing in height, with one reaching so high that it accidentally opened a portal to another dimension, where staplers and paperclips rule the world.. Fact: The last major office project built before this one? It was so underwhelming that even the building permits were too embarrassed to show up..
• Headline: Affordable Business Travel in Manhattan. Impact: The Gotham Hospitality Group's reasonable prices sparked a trend of budget hotels offering amenities like free Wi-Fi and breakfast, inadvertently leading to the 2025 'Great Hotel Wars' where chains began to provide absurd perks like complimentary pet goldfish and in-room massage therapists. The hospitality industry was never the same.. Fact: In a shocking twist, hotel guests began to prioritize prices over the quality of the 'free' breakfast, leading to a highly competitive market for stale croissants and rubbery eggs..