JULY 12, 1995

Full News Archive

• Headline: A Heart Risk for Alcoholic Women. Impact: If only women knew that heavy drinking could lead to heart disease, perhaps we'd be living in a world where wine tastings were replaced with tea parties. Or maybe not, because who doesn't love a good party despite the heart risks?. Fact: Did you know that the average glass of wine contains more heart health risks than a Tinder date? Choose wisely!.
• Headline: U.P.S. and J.C. Penney Partnership. Impact: This $1 billion deal meant that J.C. Penney's packages could be delivered with the speed of a caffeinated squirrel. Little did they know, that would lead to the rise of online shopping and the ultimate demise of mall culture. Thanks U.P.S.!. Fact: Did you know that U.P.S. stands for 'Unbelievably Punctual Shipping'? Just kidding, it really stands for United Parcel Service, but wouldn't that be a fun twist?.
• Headline: UPS and J.C. Penney: $1 Billion Partnership. Impact: This deal was so massive that it inspired other companies to dream bigger. Unfortunately, it also encouraged even more impulse shopping online, leading to a future filled with cardboard boxes and questionable purchases. Thanks a lot, J.C. Penney!. Fact: Did you know that U.P.S. drivers have to be part-time magicians? They make your packages appear out of nowhere, even when you forget you ordered that inflatable unicorn!.
• Headline: OPENING TO VIETNAM: IN VIETNAM; For Victors and Losers, Great Expectations. Impact: The thawing of U.S.-Vietnam relations was like opening a can of worms that led to a surprising friendship between two nations. Who knew that a wait for a prosthetic leg would symbolize healing on a much grander scale?. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'better late than never' could easily apply to international relations? Just ask Chu Ngoc Thanh!.