APRIL 8, 1995

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Lesbian Love in LA. Impact: If only those girls had known how their mating rituals would inspire a reality show about dating disasters in the 2020s, they might have opted for a quiet night in with Netflix instead.. Fact: Despite the wild antics, it turns out that lesbian mating rituals are 80% less dramatic than what you find in straight dating shows. Who knew?.
• Headline: Murder, Heroin, and Buddy Cop Adventures. Impact: This unlikely buddy cop film sparked a new trend in Hollywood: the 'action-comedy' genre, which has since led to countless more films where two mismatched partners save the day while bickering about their lunch orders.. Fact: A surprising side effect of buddy cop movies? The rise of snack-based peace treaties during police interrogations..
• Headline: Liam Neeson: Man in Kilts. Impact: Liam Neeson's portrayal of a Scottish clansman unknowingly ignited a global obsession with kilts, leading to a bizarre trend of men wearing them to business meetings and grocery stores.. Fact: Scotsmen have been wearing kilts for centuries, and they’ve been avoiding pants even longer. Fashion is all about commitment!.
• Headline: Dark Night of a Hit Man: A Farewell to Boredom. Impact: The hit man's romantic entanglement somehow led to a new sub-genre of thrillers where love interests are more dangerous than the villains, giving rise to a series of unfortunate dating decisions across the globe.. Fact: Studies show that 9 out of 10 hit men prefer a quiet dinner over an action-packed date. Who knew they had such refined tastes?.
• Headline: Beyond December And May. Impact: This widower's fling inspired a wave of midlife crises, resulting in a massive increase in sports car sales and yoga classes for the over-50 crowd. Thanks for the crisis, buddy!. Fact: Widowers are statistically more likely to buy a motorcycle than a new set of garden tools. Priorities, right?.
• Headline: Seagram Will Buy 80% of Big Studio from Matsushita for $7 Billion. Impact: The Seagram-MCA deal sent shockwaves through Hollywood, paving the way for corporate takeovers that would later inspire a generation of aspiring moguls to think they could run a movie studio from their parents' basement.. Fact: For every billion dollars spent on entertainment mergers, one cat video goes viral. Coincidence? I think not!.
• Headline: ABOUT REAL ESTATE; Two Lenders Widen Offerings of Reverse Mortgages. Impact: The expansion of reverse mortgages opened the floodgates for a new type of financial planning, leading to the unfortunate trend of elderly homeowners throwing 'equity parties'—because who doesn’t love a good cash-out celebration?. Fact: Reverse mortgages are like a financial time machine—just not the kind that helps you avoid bad decisions in the first place..