JANUARY 16, 1995

Full News Archive

• Headline: Home Clinic: Combatting Cockroaches Effectively. Impact: If cavemen had known cockroaches would survive longer than their fire-starting skills, they might have invented insect repellent sooner, thus preventing countless future slapstick moments when your great-great-grandfather tried to impress a date by showcasing his bug-squashing prowess.. Fact: Cockroaches can live for a week without their heads. So much for thinking your pest problem will be solved by a well-aimed shoe..
• Headline: Empowering Disabled Workers Initiative. Impact: The push for jobs for the disabled led to a global movement for inclusivity, but also a rise in companies hiring 'diversity consultants'—just so they could check a box without actually changing their workplace culture.. Fact: Anthony C. at Kunzler Tires is a shining example of how hard work can defy stereotypes. Meanwhile, some big corporations just slap a 'Diversity' sticker on their front door and call it a day..
• Headline: Viewpoints; A Reluctant Vote for a Balanced Budget. Impact: The balanced budget amendment proposed by Newt Gingrich gave birth to a slew of political debates, each more tedious than the last, eventually leading to a generation of voters with the attention span of a goldfish.. Fact: Voting for a balanced budget is like deciding to eat salad at a buffet—you really think it's going to make a difference when the desserts are just sitting there, taunting you?.
• Headline: An Early Look at The Stars. Impact: The wonders of the Zeiss M1015 inspired countless future generations to look at the stars—most of whom later settled for staring at their phones instead, leading to a universal decline in the appreciation for the night sky.. Fact: Planetariums are basically the childhood version of a Netflix binge—except instead of a remote, you have a planetarium dome and a lot of existential questioning..
• Headline: HOME CLINIC; A Household Battle Plan to Fight the Loathsome Cockroach. Impact: The perfect sunset witnessed by a couple set off a series of romantic outings that would eventually lead to countless Instagram posts and the creation of 'couple goals'—because nothing says love like a staged photo-op.. Fact: The term 'perfect sunset' gets thrown around so often that it's basically lost all meaning—kind of like 'I love you' in a text message after a first date..
• Headline: IN THE NATURAL STATE. Impact: Dining at a theater may have started the trend of multitasking entertainment, leading us to the current situation where people can't even watch a movie without shoving popcorn and overpriced nachos down their throats.. Fact: Eating dinner while watching a show is great—until you realize you’re just as likely to spill marinara sauce on your date as you are to actually enjoy the performance..
• Headline: A LA CARTE; Theatergoers Can Dine In Old Carriage House. Impact: Howard A. Epstein's persistence in selling soy sauce eventually contributed to the global obsession with Asian cuisine, forever changing dinner menus and making sushi the go-to for Instagram influencers.. Fact: If you think soy sauce is just an afterthought, remember: it’s the reason why your bland chicken tastes like an Asian fusion masterpiece. Or at least that's what your taste buds wish you would believe..
• Headline: Language No Bar To Soy Sauce Sales. Impact: The exploration of the bog sparked a fascination with the unknown, leading modern-day thrill-seekers to attempt hiking through quicksand—because nothing says adventure like a trip to the ER.. Fact: Bogs are basically nature's way of saying, 'Hey, I can be beautiful, but don't get too close or you'll sink into oblivion.'.
• Headline: Where the Earth Shakes. Treasures and Surprises of the Bog..