NOVEMBER 14, 1994

Full News Archive

• Headline: SOAPBOX: Closed-School Week. Impact: If only closed schools could send students back in time to give their younger selves a lecture on the importance of hygiene, we might have avoided the rise of influencers who think smelling like a gym sock is a personality trait.. Fact: Nostalgia is just history's way of reminding us that 'back in my day' was often a smelly affair..
• Headline: First Pianist at Institute for Advanced Study. Impact: The appointment of Robert Taub sparked a chain of events leading to the rise of the celebrity musician, ultimately resulting in our current landscape where musicians are more famous for their Instagram followers than their talent.. Fact: T.S. Eliot's residency was the only time poetry and music shared a dwelling—until musicians decided they needed more dramatic lighting for their selfies..
• Headline: Exclusive $100K Membership Golf Club Plans. Impact: This $100,000 golf club concept inspired a series of overpriced leisure activities that made 'rich people doing ridiculous things' a full-blown industry, paving the way for today's extravagant wellness retreats.. Fact: For just $100,000, you too can play a round of golf while pretending to care about the environment, all while sipping overpriced organic green juice!.
• Headline: What to Look for When Raising (and Buying) the Turkey. Impact: The turkey-buying guide led to a national obsession with Thanksgiving traditions, pressuring families to create elaborate feasts, thus ensuring that millions of people would forever associate family gatherings with passive-aggressive comments and food comas.. Fact: Karen Strong's turkeys are so famous that they practically have their own fan club—next year, they’ll probably start a podcast..
• Headline: G.O.P. Strength Denies Cuomo A Close Finish; Lilco Takeover Probably Dead. Impact: The G.O.P.'s victory denied Cuomo a close finish, leading to a series of political blunders that ultimately made reality TV stars seem like viable candidates for public office, because why not?. Fact: In the world of politics, nothing screams 'we're serious' like a state senator named after a character in a grocery store ad..
• Headline: ART; In Newark, the Graphic Works of a Puerto Rican Artist. Impact: This exhibition of graphic works contributed to the slow but steady rise of multicultural appreciation in art, which eventually led to brunch menus filled with 'culturally inspired' dishes that nobody can pronounce.. Fact: Lorenzo Homar's pots might not be the only things filled with flags; after all, nothing says 'art' like a ceramic pot that looks like it just left a Fourth of July party..
• Headline: DINING OUT; Interesting Combinations in Thai Cuisine. Impact: The popularity of intriguing Thai dishes set off a culinary revolution, leading to the current trend of fusion cuisine where everything from sushi tacos to kimchi pizza is a thing, making the world a tastier but far more confusing place.. Fact: Crispy duck salad: the dish that has convinced countless people they are sophisticated foodies when they really just want to eat a salad that sounds like a luxury car..
• Headline: NEW JERSEY GUIDE. Impact: The jazz festival marked the beginning of music festivals as a cultural phenomenon, leading to the current era of overpriced tickets and questionable headliners, where 'who' is performing often matters less than 'how much' it costs.. Fact: Billy Taylor and Marian McPartland: because what screams '40th anniversary' more than a bunch of people in fedoras reminiscing about the good old days of jazz?.
• Headline: When a Crisis Is Personal, Everyone Reaches Out. Impact: Austin Kamykowski's story reminds us that personal crises can lead to community bonding, which eventually evolved into social media trends where people are encouraged to 'reach out' via likes and emojis instead of actual human interaction.. Fact: In the age of social media, 'reaching out' often means sending a text rather than showing up with a casserole—because who has time to cook when you can just order takeout?.
• Headline: CLASSICAL MUSIC; The Long Odyssey of a Lone Crusader. Impact: The St. Louis Symphony's ambitious performances may have inspired future orchestras to outdo themselves with ever-longer and more elaborate pieces, leading to today's symphonic endurance events that test not only the musicians but the patience of audiences everywhere.. Fact: When they said they were upping the ante, they really meant 'let's see how many people we can get to sit through this without needing a bathroom break.'.