NOVEMBER 7, 1994

Full News Archive

• Headline: Historic Year for Women in Politics. Impact: Marge Roukema's token status as the only female member from New Jersey created a ripple effect, inspiring future generations of women to enter politics, while simultaneously making 'tokenism' a word that would be overused in the next few decades. Thanks, Marge!. Fact: Did you know that Marge thought being called a token was like being offered a 'special' chair at a wedding? You sit there, but everyone knows you’re just a placeholder..
• Headline: The Evolution of Networking Events. Impact: The shift from parties to networking events led to the invention of the dreaded business card, which has since proliferated like cockroaches at a picnic. Now we have more business cards than actual human connections.. Fact: Fun fact: If you stack all the business cards exchanged at networking events, they could reach the moon. That's a lot of awkward small talk!.
• Headline: A LA CARTE; Cafe Offers Cajun Food. Impact: Magnolia's cafe became the prototype for hipster eateries everywhere, inspiring a generation of entrepreneurs to slap artisan labels on mediocre food and charge you $15 for a slice of avocado toast.. Fact: Fun fact: The green awnings were actually a ploy to distract you from the fact that the food might be more 'style' than 'substance.'.
• Headline: McFerrin Goes Solo For a New Album. Impact: McFerrin going solo marked the beginning of a trend where artists would abandon their bands, leading to a flood of solo acts that would confuse us all. Who knew that the 'one-hit wonder' would become a full-time job?. Fact: Did you know that McFerrin's phone greeting was actually the start of a conspiracy theory about him secretly being Robert Redford? Spoiler: It's not true, but wouldn't that be a plot twist?.
• Headline: Manager's Profile. Impact: Ernest E. Monrad's management of a $581.7 million fund paved the way for future fund managers to become rock stars in their own right. Now, we have hedge fund managers who are more famous than some pop stars. Go figure!. Fact: Did you know that back in the day, nobody cared about fund managers? Now, they have more followers on social media than some movie stars. Because who doesn’t want to know about high returns?.
• Headline: Viewpoints; Shoppers' Easily Influenced Choices. Impact: The revelation about shoppers’ influenced choices led to the rise of marketing gurus who now spend millions trying to figure out how to manipulate your brain into buying stuff you never wanted. Thanks for the consumerism, guys!. Fact: Fun fact: Shoppers are now so influenced that they could be convinced to buy a rock if it comes with a clever tagline. 'It's a pet rock, but with a twist!'.
• Headline: Voters Take Aim at a Crowded Ballot. Impact: The crowded gubernatorial ballot set a precedent for confusing elections, leading to modern-day voters feeling like they’re trying to pick a Netflix show while simultaneously having a midlife crisis. Thanks for the confusion!. Fact: Did you know that a crowded ballot is like a buffet where everything looks great, but you end up regretting your choices? Bon appétit!.
• Headline: 3 House Incumbents Favored to Win. Impact: The incumbents’ consistent wins solidified the notion that once you're in, you're basically a political cockroach—hard to get rid of and always coming back for more. Welcome to the political game!. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more certain than an incumbent's victory is a politician’s ability to dodge questions? It's practically an Olympic sport!.