JULY 30, 1994

Full News Archive

• Headline: De La Hoya's Knockout Victory Over Paez. Impact: De La Hoya's knockout sparked a chain reaction in the boxing world, leading to a dramatic increase in the number of boxers trying to get famous by picking fights with celebrities. Thanks, Oscar, for making our reality TV shows even more absurd.. Fact: Did you know that Oscar De La Hoya once won a gold medal at the 1992 Olympics? Apparently, he thought, 'Why stop at gold when I can also knock out some guys in flashy shorts?'.
• Headline: Caveat Emptor: Gold Prices Explored. Impact: As gold prices soared, conspiracy theorists started to believe that all economic analysts were secretly gold hoarders. This eventually led to a bizarre trend of people investing in glitter, because, you know, it’s shiny.. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'caveat emptor' means 'let the buyer beware.' So basically, if you invest in gold, just know you might end up with a very shiny rock instead of a fortune..
• Headline: COMPANY NEWS;Ben & Jerry's at a Fork on a Rocky Russian Road. Impact: Ben & Jerry's attempt to bridge communism and capitalism led to the idea of 'socially conscious ice cream,' which now fuels countless hipster conversations about the ethics of dairy farming. Thanks for the existential crisis, guys.. Fact: Did you know that Cherry Garcia was inspired by the Grateful Dead's Jerry Garcia? Because nothing says 'peace and love' like a pint of ice cream named after a rock star!.
• Headline: GOODWILL GAMES;Last 1,500 Meters Hardest for O'Brien. Impact: O'Brien’s struggle to break his own record inspired a new trend in sports: athletes using motivational quotes as excuses for underperformance. The phrase 'I just wasn't feeling it' became the new 'I'm on a break.'. Fact: Did you know that Dan O'Brien was the first athlete to win a decathlon at the Goodwill Games? Apparently, motivation was not included in the fine print..