JULY 15, 1994

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Harsh Reality of Parisian Streets. Impact: The surge of drugs and brutality in Paris led to the invention of the beret-wearing vigilante, who decided that the best way to combat crime was through interpretive dance. This, of course, was widely ignored.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'mean streets' has nothing to do with actual streets but is just a dramatic way to make your story sound more interesting?.
• Headline: Gang Culture Among Latino Teenagers in L.A.. Impact: This headline sparked a global movement of teenagers forming gangs, but instead of crime, they just gathered to discuss their favorite Netflix shows, which inadvertently led to the rise of ‘binge-watching’ as a competitive sport.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Teen-Agers' is just a fancy way of saying 'people who are really good at making bad decisions!'.
• Headline: Monkey Business: A Family Comedy Experience. Impact: The success of this dark comedy led to a new genre: dysfunctional family sitcoms starring talking animals. Surprisingly, this didn't help actual families but did lead to a rise in pet therapy.. Fact: Did you know that 'Monkey Business' is often used as a euphemism for slacking off at work? So, if you see your coworker staring at a monkey video, they might be conducting 'important research.'.
• Headline: Lawyers Live Where Clients Are, Data Show. Impact: This revelation about lawyers' housing choices led to a nationwide trend where people started buying homes based solely on the proximity to lawyers, which resulted in the first-ever 'Lawyer Districts' where you could hear legal jargon at every corner.. Fact: Surprise! Lawyers are just like everyone else. They also prefer a cozy home with a view, possibly of a courtroom..
• Headline: COMPANY NEWS; LDDS Communications Seen Courting IDB. Impact: This merger paved the way for the creation of a secret society of telecom executives who communicate only through smoke signals and carrier pigeons, claiming it’s a more 'authentic' way to connect with customers.. Fact: Did you know that combining two companies is like a bad relationship? It usually leads to more drama and often requires a lot of therapy!.
• Headline: COMPANY NEWS; Nextel Agrees to Buy Onecomm. Impact: This effort to renovate low-income apartments resulted in a nationwide trend of DIY home improvement shows, where people learned to fix their ceilings but still couldn't afford rent. Irony at its finest!. Fact: Fun fact: Sagging ceilings are just your apartment’s way of saying it needs a hug. Or maybe a structural engineer..
• Headline: Low-Income Renovations; Bronx Neighborhood Effort Revives Apartments.