JUNE 17, 1994

Full News Archive

• Headline: Review of 'Disciplining a Bad Dad'. Impact: This film may have inspired a whole generation of dads to step up their parenting game... or at least give them a valid excuse to skip family events. Thanks for the emotional rollercoaster, Hollywood!. Fact: Fun fact: The term 'dad bod' was actually coined in the wake of films like this, where the only thing more underwhelming than the plot was the dad's commitment to his family..
• Headline: Revival Efforts for Brooklyn Co-Op. Impact: The auctioning of those 39 apartments might have led to Brooklyn becoming the hipster capital of the world, with artisanal coffee shops and thrift stores sprouting up in every nook and cranny. Who knew an $11 million mortgage could lead to a trend of overpriced avocado toast?. Fact: Did you know that Brooklyn's real estate drama could rival any soap opera? Tune in next week for 'As the Co-Op Turns'!.
• Headline: Review/Film; Wolf Bites Man; Man Sheds His Civilized Coat. Impact: This film's success may have inadvertently led to a spike in furry conventions and questionable fashion choices in the 90s. Thanks to Hollywood, we now have a whole subculture that thinks wearing a tail is a good idea.. Fact: Did you know that the film's plot twist was so unexpected that even the werewolf was caught off guard? Just wait until the sequel: 'Man Bites Dog – The Revenge.'.
• Headline: COMPANY NEWS; Management of Baxter Purchases Its Stock. Impact: This stock purchase might have set off a chain reaction of corporate buybacks, leading to the eventual creation of a secret society of CEOs who meet in dimly lit boardrooms to discuss world domination—or at least how to keep the stock prices afloat.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'put your money where your mouth is' was originally coined for corporate executives? Turns out, their mouths are just as full of hot air as their stock prices!.
• Headline: Review/Film; Recounting the Story Of an Accidental Career. Impact: The accidental success of this film led to a whole genre of movies about people stumbling into fame, paving the way for countless influencers who 'accidentally' become famous for their TikTok dances. Because stumbling is the new skill!. Fact: Did you know that this film's charm was so insouciant that it could have been a character in a rom-com? Too bad it was only a low-budget comedy—Hollywood just doesn't know a good thing when it sees it!.