MAY 7, 1994

Full News Archive

• Headline: Three Ninja Siblings Return in Japan. Impact: In a shocking twist of fate, the return of the Three Ninja Siblings sparked a global trend in martial arts movies where every sibling duo had to have at least one ninja. This led to the rise of 'Ninja Sibling Day' in 2002, celebrated by awkward family gatherings and questionable costume choices.. Fact: Did you know that the original title for this film was 'Three Ninjas: Still Not as Good as the First One'? Just kidding, but it should have been..
• Headline: Boatmen's Bancshares Acquires National Mortgage. Impact: This acquisition was the starting gun for a wild race in the mortgage industry. The butterfly effect resulted in an entire generation of Americans drowning in paperwork and confusion over floating interest rates, ultimately leading to the invention of coffee-fueled all-nighters and the term 'mortgage fatigue'.. Fact: Fun fact: Boatmen's Bancshares could have just as easily purchased a yacht company and called it 'Boatmen's Yachts', but who needs fun when you can have mortgages?.
• Headline: Boxing; Revenge Is on the Card In Four Championships. Impact: The quest for revenge in boxing created an entire subculture of fighters obsessed with reclaiming lost glory, resulting in the infamous 'Revenge Tour' phenomenon that led to more rematches than actual fights, and somehow, an increase in ticket sales for the same fight, twice.. Fact: Fun fact: If boxers spent as much time training as they do plotting revenge, we might have seen a lot less drama and a lot more knockouts. But where’s the fun in that?.