NOVEMBER 28, 1993

Full News Archive

• Headline: David Briskin's Debut Conducting 'Messiah'. Impact: Briskin's debut led to the unexpected rise of choral karaoke nights, where people mistook 'Messiah' for a pop anthem. This event inadvertently created a new generation of singers who think they can hit those high notes, only to be bewildered in the shower.. Fact: Conductors often have to deal with the myth that waving a stick around makes them the ultimate authority on music. Spoiler: it doesn't..
• Headline: Health Care Is Shifting To H.M.O.'s. Impact: The shift to H.M.O.s caused a butterfly effect that resulted in the future creation of an underground health care system where people traded home remedies like they were precious relics.. Fact: H.M.O. stands for 'How Many Options?' because it seems like the answer is always 'not enough.'.
• Headline: Oxygenated Gasoline: A Debate Arises. Impact: The oxygenated gasoline debate led to a series of underground meetings where drivers exchanged secret recipes for homemade fuel. This ultimately culminated in the emergence of a new black market for 'vintage gasoline.'. Fact: Oxygenated gasoline: because why should cars have all the fun with oxygen? Let’s just gas up with a little more air..
• Headline: DINING OUT; Mexican Fare With Dashes of Adventure. Impact: The search for a good Mexican restaurant unleashed a culinary revolution that saw taco trucks pop up everywhere, eventually leading to a taco-themed reality show that made chefs famous for their ability to fold tortillas.. Fact: New Jersey has more mediocre Mexican restaurants per capita than any other state, a fact that is both impressive and alarming..
• Headline: Viewpoints; Finding a Better Way to Test for Drugs. Impact: The drug testing debate led to a bizarre trend where employees started devising increasingly creative ways to avoid tests, resulting in a national pastime known as 'the urine dodge.'. Fact: Drug testing: the corporate equivalent of a surprise pop quiz that everyone fails because they were never told to study..