NOVEMBER 15, 1993

Full News Archive

• Headline: Reviving Newark's Hidden Drawing Collection. Impact: The secretive nature of the Newark Museum's drawing collection inspired a series of underground art movements, leading to a future where artists began hiding their best works in plain sight, resulting in an art heist trend that baffled the authorities.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Hiding your light under a bushel' was actually a popular phrase among 19th-century artists who just wanted a little attention. Turns out, they didn't know how to use social media..
• Headline: 90's Neighborhood Dining Experience. Impact: The Heights Cafe became the blueprint for all future hipster cafes, spawning an unending cycle of Instagrammable brunches that would eventually lead to the downfall of traditional dining as we know it.. Fact: Did you know that the 90's were actually just a testing ground for today's avocado toast obsession? You're welcome, millennials..
• Headline: Censorship Debate: Women Advocating for Sex Businesses. Impact: The public hearing sparked a national debate on zoning laws, leading to the creation of a secret society of pro-sex business advocates who, unbeknownst to the public, became influential lobbyists in the shadows.. Fact: Zoning laws have been known to incite more drama than a daytime soap opera, proving yet again that local government can be just as thrilling as a reality TV show..
• Headline: AUTHORS' CHOICES; Alone On Foot in Andalusia. Impact: Gerald Brenan's journey through Andalusia inspired countless travelers to embark on their own solo adventures, creating a future where travel writing became a prerequisite for Instagram influencers.. Fact: Travel writing: the only profession where your job is to complain about how much you love exploring the world while sipping overpriced coffee..
• Headline: A Highway Extension Divides a Community. Impact: The highway extension led to a community division that would inspire future urban planners to think twice before bulldozing neighborhoods, ultimately resulting in a global movement advocating for community input in city planning.. Fact: Did you know? The only thing more divisive than a highway extension is a family Thanksgiving dinner. Both can lead to long-lasting feuds..
• Headline: AUTHORS' CHOICES; The Promenades of a Philosopher. Impact: Rousseau's solitary walks inspired generations of philosophers and wanderers, leading to the establishment of 'thinking retreats'—which are essentially just overpriced getaways where people sit quietly and overthink.. Fact: Rousseau probably would have made a killer lifestyle blogger if he had the internet. Instead, he settled for being a philosopher, which is basically the same thing but with fewer followers..
• Headline: Attacks Start As Gulotta Offers Budget. Impact: Gulotta's budget proposal was so fantastical that it became a case study in political science classes, teaching future politicians how to make promises they can't keep while smiling charmingly.. Fact: A budget proposal is really just a politician's way of saying, 'Trust me, I absolutely know what I'm doing'—right before they trip over the next obstacle..
• Headline: Fighting Mandated Local Costs. Impact: The frustration over mandated costs incited a grassroots movement that eventually led to the establishment of a 'No Mandate Without Representation' policy, paving the way for more accountable governance.. Fact: Angry municipal officials are the modern equivalent of medieval peasants with pitchforks. Just replace the pitchforks with PowerPoint presentations, and you've got a local government meeting..
• Headline: AUTHORS' CHOICES; Dreaming of Tierra del Fuego. Impact: E. Lucas Bridges' account of Tierra del Fuego inspired explorers and environmentalists alike, leading to a future where adventurers seek out the most remote locations just to take a selfie with nature.. Fact: Tierra del Fuego was originally just a place to avoid dying of boredom—now it's a hotspot for people who want to brag about how rugged they are on social media..
• Headline: Pundits Still Ponder Why Florio Lost. Impact: The puzzlement over Florio's loss led to a wave of political strategists who decided that creating catchy slogans was more important than actual policy, forever changing the landscape of American political campaigns.. Fact: Political analysts are basically just the sports commentators of the government world—lots of opinions, questionable accuracy, and they never seem to be accountable for their predictions..