NOVEMBER 10, 1993

Full News Archive

• Headline: Connecticut Lures Armonk Lists Company. Impact: If Connecticut hadn't lured this company, the future of direct-marketing might have taken a different turn, potentially leading to the rise of completely useless spam emails that could have been avoided. Thanks, Connecticut, for sparing us from that timeline!. Fact: Did you know that relocating a business is like moving with all your childhood stuffed animals? It’s complicated, emotional, and usually ends in tears when you realize you forgot to pack the coffee maker..
• Headline: Atmospheric Tension in Carlito's Way. Impact: The film's portrayal of crime and redemption may have inspired countless future mobsters to attempt a career change. Little did they know that their idealism would lead them to become baristas instead. Thanks, Al Pacino!. Fact: Did you know that 'Carlito's Way' is actually a documentary on how to avoid adulting? Spoiler alert: it involves a lot of bad decisions and stylish outfits..
• Headline: Volkswagen and G.M. Pursue Settlement Agreement. Impact: This settlement might have set a precedent that encouraged corporate disputes to be resolved in cozy boardrooms instead of messy courtrooms, which ultimately led to the rise of overpriced coffee in legal offices. Thanks, corporate America!. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more complicated than a car company's internal politics is the instructions for assembling IKEA furniture? Good luck getting that settlement sorted without a manual!.