JULY 23, 1993

Full News Archive

• Headline: Le Grand Palais Finds New Life. Impact: The sale of this luxury condo triggered a real estate frenzy, leading to a wave of overpriced avocado toast cafes. People are still wondering how a brick and mortar building could influence brunch culture.. Fact: Did you know that the 80s and 90s are often referred to as the 'Decades of Excess and Regret'? Kind of like my last relationship..
• Headline: Exploring Crime in Unexpected Settings. Impact: This film review set off a chain reaction of cinematic masterpieces that would eventually lead to the creation of 'Fast & Furious 27: Space Drift'. Who knew crime could be so lucrative?. Fact: Fun fact: 'Mean Streets' was actually the inspiration for many future films, but no one bothered to ask the streets how they felt about it..
• Headline: German Prosecutors Investigate Lopez and G.M. Secrets. Impact: The revelation of these secret GM papers led to a series of corporate espionage scandals, resulting in the creation of a secret society of disgruntled auto workers who now meet in basements to discuss the 'real' reasons for traffic jams.. Fact: You know, it’s fascinating how a little paperwork can lead to massive corporate cover-ups. Makes you wonder what else is hidden in your sock drawer..
• Headline: Review/Film: Poetic Justice; On the Road To Redemption. Impact: This review inadvertently inspired a generation of romantic comedies that centered around hairdressers, ultimately causing the rise of the 'Salon Cinematic Universe'.. Fact: Did you know that many people believe romantic comedies are just documentaries about their lives? Spoiler alert: They're not..
• Headline: Review/Film; A Fake Mom and Dad And the Boy Next Door. Impact: The inept cops in this sequel sparked a trend that led to the creation of a new genre: 'Cops Who Can't Even'. Because if you're going to chase criminals, might as well make it a comedy.. Fact: Fun fact: Sequels are often made when the original is too successful. It's like trying to recreate a perfect sandwich, only to end up with soggy bread..
• Headline: Review/Film; They're From Another Planet (Another Medium, Actually). Impact: The popularity of this extraterrestrial comedy paved the way for a slew of alien-themed reality shows, proving once and for all that humanity is basically just waiting for someone to take us off this planet.. Fact: Did you know that 'Saturday Night Live' has been on the air so long that even aliens are starting to question their existence? Time for a reboot!.