APRIL 18, 1993

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tax Benefits of Individual Retirement Accounts. Impact: By encouraging people to save more in retirement accounts, this event inadvertently led to a generation of retirees with more money than they knew what to do with. Cue the rise of retirement hobbies like extreme knitting and competitive birdwatching.. Fact: Did you know that some people consider tax avoidance a sport? Just imagine the Olympics for tax dodging—gold medals for the best loopholes!.
• Headline: Young Playwright Explores Sexuality and Friendship. Impact: This curious young playwright's quest for personal legacy inadvertently spurred a movement in the arts, leading to countless awkward conversations about parental expectations and the subsequent birth of cringe-worthy sitcoms.. Fact: Fun fact: sperm donation can be a great way to fund your coffee habits, but it won’t help with your existential dread about your life choices..
• Headline: Bogota's Rising Stock Market Paradise. Impact: This financial boom set off a rush of foreign investment that ultimately led to the creation of the 'Colombian Coffee Conspiracy Club,' where investors gather to sip espresso while plotting their next financial heist.. Fact: Did you know that Colombia produces some of the best coffee in the world? Too bad the stock market doesn't brew it as well!.
• Headline: Viewpoints; Let's Hear It for Low-Tech Medicine. Impact: Clinton’s health care overhaul led to a bizarre resurgence of medieval remedies, where leeches became trendy again and herbal tea became the go-to prescription for everything from heartbreak to hangnails.. Fact: Did you know that a lot of ancient medical practices, like bloodletting, are still around today? Just in a fancier package called 'alternative medicine.'.
• Headline: DANCE; A Troupe That Laughs at Ballet Foibles. Impact: The humor of Les Ballets Trockadero inspired a generation of dancers to embrace absurdity, resulting in a global dance revolution where pirouettes are now paired with punchlines, and ballet shoes come with built-in whoopee cushions.. Fact: Did you know that ballet slippers are actually just modern-day foot prisons? Thank goodness for laughter to lighten the toe pain!.
• Headline: A Writer Comes to Terms With Herself. Impact: Abigail Thomas’s journey from secretary to writer sparked an influx of late-blooming authors who now flood the literary world with their angst, resulting in an entire section of bookstores dedicated to 'Midlife Crises in Print.'. Fact: Did you know that writing can be a great way to process your life? Or it might just lead to you spilling your issues onto paper and subjecting the world to your existential dread..
• Headline: Weighing the Threat of Terror. Impact: This warning about potential terror threats contributed to a culture of fear that ultimately led to an explosion of airport security measures, including the infamous 'take off your shoes' rule—because nothing screams safety like bare feet in public.. Fact: Did you know that the average person probably spends more time waiting in line at security than they do actually flying? Welcome to the new normal!.
• Headline: Viewpoints: Choices for the Clinton Ear -- Rethinking Health Care; When the Patient Is a Clinton In-Law. Impact: Hillary's health care initiatives, while noble, led to a never-ending debate about privilege in healthcare that still permeates discussions today, inspiring countless memes about waiting for a doctor while your wealthy in-laws get VIP treatment.. Fact: Did you know that in healthcare, sometimes the most important question is, 'Who's your doctor?' Spoiler alert: It usually helps if they know your last name..
• Headline: Viewpoints; Bankers Want to Roll the Dice Again. Impact: The bankers' nostalgia for reckless gambling on the economy laid the groundwork for future financial crises, which can now only be described as 'the annual tradition of economic roulette,' where everyone loses except the house.. Fact: Did you know that in Washington, the only thing more common than political amnesia is the ability to forget how to not lose billions in bad investments?.
• Headline: DINING OUT; Engaging Dishes With Bargain Prices. Impact: The rise of affordable dining options in Egg Harbor inadvertently led to a nation of foodies who now have an insatiable appetite for Instagramming their meals, resulting in a generation glued to their phones instead of enjoying their company.. Fact: Did you know that dining out is now more about the 'Instagrammability' of your dish than the actual taste? Because who cares about flavor when you have a good filter?.