AUGUST 9, 1992

Full News Archive

• Headline: Polo Takes Center Stage at Hidden Pond. Impact: The polo center brought together the rich and the... well, just the rich, really. This event set the standard for future events where people in fancy hats pretend they know how to ride horses. Fact: Polo is often referred to as the 'Sport of Kings,' which is ironic because most kings would probably prefer to just sit on their thrones and eat cake.
• Headline: War on Floating Debris in New York Harbor. Impact: Captain Aballo’s battle against floating debris has led to the eventual creation of 'Trash Talk,' a popular reality show where contestants try to outsmart litter with charm and humor. The world is truly a better place. Fact: The irony of cleaning up New York Harbor while simultaneously having a public transportation system that sometimes resembles a junkyard is not lost on anyone.
• Headline: Your Own Account; Business Cycles as a Board Game. Impact: This board game likely inspired thousands of students to realize that economics is just as complicated as their love lives—both filled with cycles and unexpected downturns. Fact: The only thing more boring than a high school economics class is a high school economics board game, but at least you don’t have to take a test afterward.
• Headline: FILM; Mike Newell Lightens Up. Impact: Mike Newell’s refusal to do 'happy' led to a cinematic revolution in which directors embraced their inner grump, ultimately giving rise to the 'sad indie film' genre. Thanks, Mike!. Fact: The phrase 'I don't do happy' has since been adopted by countless individuals in every profession as a valid excuse for not attending parties.
• Headline: ART REVIEW; Mother of Pan Am 103 Victim Creates a Passionate Tableau. Impact: Suse Lowenstein's sculpture not only memorializes the tragedy of Pan Am 103 but also inadvertently kickstarted the trend of creating art from trauma—an art form that still haunts gallery walls today. Fact: Art inspired by tragedy often garners more attention than happy art, which is why we see more sad clowns than happy ones at the circus.
• Headline: Thailand's Still-Unspoiled Isle. Impact: Samui’s crossroads paved the way for the Instagram influencer boom; all those 'tropical paradise' posts owe their origins to this decision-making moment in the 80s. Fact: While Samui was once a hidden gem, it’s now so well-known that you might accidentally bump into a celebrity trying to take a vacation from being famous.
• Headline: Towns to Vie for Share of Bond Issue. Impact: Cuomo's bond issue set off a competition among towns that has since evolved into a full-blown Olympic sport of local governance—complete with medals for excessive bureaucracy. Fact: Local governments competing for funds is just like kids fighting over a toy, but with significantly higher stakes and a lot more paperwork.
• Headline: FILM; What's Up With Chuck Jones? Lissen, Doc, and He'll Tell You. Impact: Chuck Jones' longevity in animation not only kept cartoons alive but also likely influenced the entire concept of eternal youth, leading to the rise of many 'young at heart' grandpas. Fact: Chuck Jones has created more classic characters than most people have socks. And his characters definitely have better fashion sense.
• Headline: UP AND COMING: Carl Franklin; A 'False Move' That Paid Off. Impact: Carl Franklin's success with 'One False Move' not only solidified his place in Hollywood but also led to the subsequent belief that 'one false move' is a solid business strategy for many directors. Fact: The film's success paved the way for more directors to use the phrase 'it’s all part of the plan' after making questionable creative decisions.