AUGUST 2, 1992

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Coming Age Wave at 50. Impact: As baby boomers approached 50, they inadvertently created a booming market for anti-aging creams and senior discounts. This led to a bizarre societal trend where people started claiming they were 'young at heart' while actually just collecting AARP membership cards.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'age wave' sounds like a catchy summer hit but is actually just the sound of everyone complaining about their knees?.
• Headline: Installation Art: A Unique Expression. Impact: The rise of installation art prompted a revolution in the way people viewed personal space, leading to a future where homes were filled with strange, unidentifiable art pieces that made visitors question their life choices.. Fact: Fun fact: Installation art is basically what happens when someone gets tired of traditional art and decides to just throw a bunch of stuff in a room and call it deep..
• Headline: Natural State Responses to Early Calls. Impact: The surge in media calls about the natural state created a ripple effect where journalists began to realize that the 'natural state' was often just a euphemism for 'we're out of ideas and need to fill airtime'.. Fact: If you ever feel overwhelmed by calls, just remember: reporters have a knack for finding the most mundane things to fill the news cycle. Like, who knew trees could be so interesting?.
• Headline: NEW JERSEY GUIDE. Impact: Joe Jones' retrospective sparked a series of events that resulted in every art gallery in America suddenly being required to hold a retrospective every three weeks. Welcome to the age of art overload!. Fact: Retrospectives are basically art's way of saying, 'Look how far I've come!' while everyone else is just thinking, 'Didn’t I see that piece at the last exhibit?'.
• Headline: Stonington Is Home to Tableware With the Flavor of Brittany. Impact: The nostalgic look at Stonington’s past inadvertently caused a surge in hipster tourism, with people flocking to the town to sip overpriced lattes in front of historical landmarks while pretending to care about maritime history.. Fact: Stonington: where every street corner has a story, and every story is just a long-winded excuse to sell you artisanal bread..
• Headline: LONG ISLAND GUIDE. Impact: Karen Akers' benefit concert raised awareness for AIDS care, forever changing the landscape of fundraising events, which would later evolve into celebrity-studded galas where the cause often took a backseat to the after-party.. Fact: Remember when fundraisers were about the cause? Now it's all about the Instagrammable moments and who wore what!.
• Headline: Job Losses Called Permanent, Not Cyclical. Impact: The permanent job losses in Long Island triggered a trend where workers began to adapt to gig economies, eventually leading to the ridiculous phenomenon of people selling their homemade kombucha online.. Fact: Welcome to the new normal: where 'permanent' job loss means you can now focus on your true passion... like making artisanal pickles in your basement..