MAY 28, 1992

Full News Archive

• Headline: Intimations Of Danger: A Film Review. Impact: If this film had been a blockbuster, who knows? We might have seen an influx of mystical surgeon movies, leading to a whole genre of 'medical mysticism' that would confuse the medical community for decades. Imagine surgeons chanting before operations—what a world!. Fact: Did you know that 'Intimations Of Danger' could have been a great name for a horror film about poorly timed surgical procedures? Just a thought..
• Headline: Whoopi Goldberg's Nun Disguise Adventure. Impact: Whoopi Goldberg disguising herself as a nun could have sparked a trend where lounge singers across the country started hiding out in convents. Next thing you know, nuns are hosting open mic nights and the whole music industry gets turned upside down!. Fact: Did you know this film nearly led to a nationwide shortage of nuns as they were all recruited to host karaoke nights? Talk about divine intervention!.
• Headline: Condominium Community; Site of New Jersey Town Houses Overlooks Reservoir. Impact: This condominium community could have kicked off a real estate boom that would turn Lake Tappan into a trendy spot for hipsters, complete with artisanal water and yoga retreats overlooking the water. Because who wouldn't want to meditate near a reservoir?. Fact: Did you know that 'Condominium Community' is just a fancy term for 'we ran out of space in the city, so let's build up'? It's like Tetris for real estate developers!.