MARCH 15, 1992

Full News Archive

• Headline: Lessons Banks Learned During Economic Hardships. Impact: The banks learned their lessons the hard way, leading to the invention of a new financial product, the 'Reality Check Account' that only lets you withdraw what you actually have.. Fact: Did you know that back in the day, banks were primarily just places for people to hide their money from their spouses? Progress!.
• Headline: Exploring Timely Issues in Art. Impact: These artists' works inspired a new wave of expressionism that led to a national trend of 'edgy' pumpkin spice lattes, forever altering autumn in America.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'timely issues' actually refers to how long it takes for trends to go out of style? Like, say, within a month..
• Headline: THE GUIDE. Impact: The chefs banded together to create an underground culinary movement that eventually led to the rise of food trucks, where gourmet food could be served on the go—so long as you don’t mind eating while standing.. Fact: Did you know that fundraising dinners used to be just rich people showing off their fancy food? Now it's a noble cause. How quaint!.
• Headline: Solar Energy, a Hope of the 70's and 80's, Suffers Decline. Impact: The decline of solar energy led to a resurgence in coal mining, which ironically sparked a national trend of hipsters wearing coal miner hats ironically. Because nothing says 'eco-friendly' like vintage fossil fuels.. Fact: Did you know that solar energy was once considered a serious competitor to fossil fuels? Then it got a reality check and decided to take a nap..
• Headline: Terry Anderson Looks Back: Blindfold and Chains. Impact: Terry's reflections prompted a wave of memoirs from former hostages, leading to the creation of the 'Hostage Experience' retreat, where people could relive those moments—minus the actual danger, of course.. Fact: Did you know that being held hostage can actually lead to a successful career in motivational speaking? Just ask anyone who's ever been through it!.
• Headline: ART REVIEW; Seductive Image of Solitary Risk Takers. Impact: The discussion of heroism sparked a global movement, inspiring a superhero franchise where ordinary people become heroes simply by getting out of bed every day. It’s a hit, obviously.. Fact: Did you know that Emerson once said, 'To be a hero is to live in a world where people are too lazy to get out of bed'? Wait, I might have misquoted him..
• Headline: MUSIC; Celebrating the Oldies (Circa 1492). Impact: This concert series inadvertently inspired a time-traveling music festival that became a hotspot for hipsters who love to wear costumes from eras they can’t afford.. Fact: Did you know that the Renaissance was actually a cover-up for a secret society of musicians trying to overthrow the monarchy? Just kidding, but wouldn’t that be fun?.
• Headline: Your Own Account; When Facing Retirement at 50. Impact: The trend of early retirement led to a new industry of retirement coaching, turning 50 into the new 70. Everyone's now living their best life—if best life means binge-watching daytime TV.. Fact: Did you know that retirement used to mean sitting on a porch and yelling at kids? Now it involves yoga and endless brunches. Progress, I guess?.
• Headline: CELEBRATING; Parks, Gardens, Fairways: It's Easy to Be Green. Impact: The lack of solutions for the vernal equinox led to the creation of a new political party dedicated to seasonal issues, forever altering the landscape of American politics. Because that’s what we needed.. Fact: Did you know that spring fever is actually a documented condition? Turns out, doing nothing while dreaming of flowers is a real ailment!.