DECEMBER 21, 1991

Full News Archive

• Headline: J.F.K.: Conspiracy and Cinematic Dazzle. Impact: This film sparked a resurgence of conspiracy theorists who now believe that even your toaster is part of a larger plot involving aliens and the Illuminati. It also inspired a series of 'Who Killed JFK?' parties where people dress up as various suspects—because nothing says 'respect for history' like themed costumes.. Fact: Did you know that the filmmakers initially considered a plot twist where JFK faked his own death to escape to a beach in Mexico? Spoiler alert: they decided that was too wild..
• Headline: Bundesbank Raises Interest Rates to 1948 Highs. Impact: This decision sent ripples through the global economy, leading to a financial game of 'hot potato' where everyone tried to avoid holding onto their money. Ultimately, it led to a fashion trend of wearing money belts because, clearly, that’s how you keep your cash safe in a high-interest world.. Fact: Fun fact: The last time interest rates were this high, the only thing worse than your mortgage was your hairstyle. Seriously, have you seen the 1940s?.
• Headline: Reviving Legal Apprenticeships in America. Impact: The trend of learning law through apprenticeships created a bizarre ripple effect where more and more people decided that if Lincoln could do it, so could they. This eventually led to a reality show where contestants had to argue legal cases while juggling flaming swords—because why not mix danger with legal education?. Fact: Did you know that the first law school was founded in 1784? And here we are, still trying to decide if a law degree is worth the price of a small mansion..
• Headline: Review/Film; One Man's Approach To Sexual Obsession. Impact: This film inadvertently popularized the idea that being a 'pest' is an acceptable form of romantic interest, leading to a generation of awkward advances and unsolicited poetry readings at coffee shops. Thanks for that, Hollywood.. Fact: Did you know that the beach ambience was actually a strategic choice to distract viewers from the disjointed plot? Nothing says 'this makes sense' like a sunset..
• Headline: About Real Estate; Differing Visions of Sheepshead Bay. Impact: The proposed zoning amendments turned Sheepshead Bay into a battleground for real estate developers and local artists who just wanted to paint murals of fish. This led to an unexpected rise in the popularity of fish-themed real estate, because clearly that's what people want in their backyards.. Fact: Did you know that Sheepshead Bay was originally named for the abundance of sheep's heads found in the water? Talk about a branding issue—who knew real estate could be so fishy?.