AUGUST 9, 1991

Full News Archive

• Headline: Martin Short's Comedic Adventure in Mexico. Impact: This film inspired a generation of clumsy heroes, leading to a significant uptick in public acceptance of incompetence in leadership roles. Thanks, Martin Short, for making it okay to trip over our own feet in the boardroom.. Fact: Did you know that Martin Short's character could have easily been a stand-in for the average office worker? Because who doesn't love a good 'oops' moment at work?.
• Headline: Executive Life Insurance Company Bond Sale. Impact: This agreement triggered a chain reaction in the financial sector, eventually leading to the invention of the phrase 'too big to fail.' Little did they know, it would set the stage for some truly spectacular economic train wrecks.. Fact: Fun fact: Analysts are basically the weather forecasters of finance—always predicting sunny skies while the storm clouds are rolling in..
• Headline: A Soap Writer's Creative Struggle. Impact: This film led to writers realizing they could literally write themselves into a corner, paving the way for future writers to escape through plot holes big enough to drive a truck through. A true literary innovation!. Fact: Ironically, many soap writers have been known to live in their own lather, which explains the dramatic twists in their personal lives..
• Headline: Review/Film; Assassins, Addicts And Spooks. Impact: The film unintentionally sparked a new genre of films where unlikely heroes become morally ambiguous anti-heroes, forever changing the landscape of Hollywood and our expectations of who can save the day.. Fact: Did you know that the film’s title is basically a buffet of all the things our parents warned us about? Who knew combining them could lead to box office gold?.
• Headline: Review/Film; No, Danny Couldn't Have Been A Contender. Impact: This cinematic flop inadvertently taught aspiring filmmakers that not every underdog story needs to see the light of day, helping to prevent countless cringe-worthy scripts from ever being produced.. Fact: Fun fact: The dialogue in this film was so awful that it almost won an award for 'Best Unintentional Comedy.' Almost..
• Headline: About Real Estate; Million-Dollar Homes For Lloyd Harbor, L.I.. Impact: The sudden interest in million-dollar homes triggered a housing market frenzy, leading to the development of countless reality shows about rich people complaining about their houses being too small. Thanks, Lloyd Harbor!. Fact: Did you know that in Lloyd Harbor, a million-dollar home is basically just a shack with a view? Location, location, location!.
• Headline: California Lawyers Must Take Refresher Courses. Impact: This new requirement spawned a wave of legal jargon and endless PowerPoint presentations, ultimately leading to the rise of coffee consumption among lawyers, which is still a legal tender today.. Fact: Did you know that mandatory refresher courses are just an elaborate way for lawyers to learn how to bill you more? It's like paying for a class to get lectured on how to pay more..
• Headline: Review/Film; With Double the Violence, Van Damme Plays Twins. Impact: This film not only doubled the violence but also set an unbreakable precedent for future action stars to play themselves in multiple roles, leading to an entire genre of movies where the plot is just an excuse to show off one's abs.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more inflated than the plot of this film is Jean-Claude Van Damme's ego. But who could blame him?.