JULY 28, 1991

Full News Archive

• Headline: Italian Dining Experience in Yonkers. Impact: The relocation of DiMastro's from the Bronx to Yonkers sparked a culinary revolution, leading to a chain reaction where every Italian restaurant in America suddenly felt the need to add 'robust' to their menus. This prompted an increase in garlic bread consumption by 300%.. Fact: Did you know that if you say 'Italian restaurant' three times in front of a mirror, a waiter will appear to ask if you want more breadsticks? No? Just me then..
• Headline: Tax Deadline Extension Changes in 1990. Impact: The extension of the tax deadline inadvertently led to the birth of procrastination culture. Millions of Americans learned to delay everything in life until the last possible moment, paving the way for the modern 'Netflix binge' phenomenon.. Fact: Did you know that the IRS once considered changing the deadline to April 31st, but then realized that would just confuse everyone even more? Welcome to tax season!.
• Headline: Exploring Art's Reflection of Society. Impact: This exhibition inadvertently inspired countless hipsters to adopt ironic hairstyles and adopt obscure art phrases, leading to a worldwide epidemic of 'artsy' Instagram posts that still haunt us to this day.. Fact: Did you know that art critics have a secret society where they sip overpriced coffee and debate the true meaning of a blank canvas? Spoiler alert: It’s just a blank canvas..
• Headline: DINING OUT; Menu Has Makings for a Beguiling Meal. Impact: Cafe Evergreen's five-year anniversary inspired other restaurants to adopt a 'romantic' theme, leading to a national crisis of candle shortages and awkward first dates in dimly lit settings.. Fact: Did you know that the average couple goes through three awkward silences in a romantic restaurant setting before the food arrives? It’s basically the appetizer of relationships..
• Headline: ART REVIEW; Bridging Old and New Indian Traditions. Impact: This exhibition led to a cultural fusion that inadvertently resulted in the invention of the 'Bollywood rap' genre. Now, every wedding has a DJ playing a mashup of traditional Indian music and questionable hip-hop beats.. Fact: Did you know that Indian artists are often asked to explain their work at dinner parties, leading to an increase in awkward silences and the invention of the phrase 'I’ll just stick to small talk'?.
• Headline: Shore Towns Rule the Waves: Parking Fees Limit Beach Use. Impact: The beach parking fee policy spread like wildfire, inspiring other towns to charge for everything. Soon, people were paying to walk on sidewalks, leading to the rise of the 'free-range' walking movement.. Fact: Did you know that if you stand on a beach without paying, you can still get a tan? It's just considered a 'local' privilege. Enjoy those sun rays, out-of-towner!.
• Headline: Making a Difference; On the Block: Yogi & Co.. Impact: David Kirschner's leadership at Hanna-Barbera sparked a global re-evaluation of cartoon characters, leading to the unexpected rise of 'adult cartoons' and a sharp decline in children's attention spans.. Fact: Did you know that Yogi Bear once tried to run for mayor but lost because he couldn't find a suitable picnic basket as a campaign platform? Talk about a missed opportunity!.